How far should you go in faking your orgasm? Sasha Gonzales finds out from Pamela Supple, a Sydney-based sex and relationship therapist; and Martha Lee, clinical sexologist from Eros Coaching in Singapore.
Should you ever fake an orgasm? The experts answer this query and more. Image: Getty Images
Is it ever okay to fake an orgasm?
Martha says it’s your body, so no one can tell you if it’s acceptable or not. However, in faking your orgasm, you are preventing yourself from enjoying your sexual pleasure. Also, you are not being truthful to yourself or your husband, says Pamela.
I only fake it when I’m tired, can’t be bothered or just not in the mood. Surely this is all right?
If so, Pamela says you should tell your husband how you feel and that it’s all right if you don’t orgasm during sex, but that you’re still enjoying the physical closeness that sex brings. Never fake an orgasm just to please your husband, or let him think that what he is or isn’t doing is helping you achieve orgasm.
Can faking it affect my sexual satisfaction?
This is in the eye of the beholder, says Martha. Many women who have never had orgasms are still able to describe their sex lives as very satisfying.
Can faking it hurt my marriage?
Yes, it can result in you becoming less interested in sex as time goes by, says Pamela. You may feel that you are a vessel purely for your husband’s sexual pleasure, and you may start to resent him.
Also, if he finds out that you’ve been faking your orgasms all along, he could feel let down, and that your sexual relationship has been a sham. He can then become angry or disillusioned about the relationship.
This article was originally published in Simply Her Mar 2012.