You don’t have to squirm your way out of these nine sticky situations — here, experts tell you how you can exit them gracefully.
Get out of these nine pesky situations easily with these tips. Image: Getty Images
1. STOP TRYING TO SELL ME STUFF!
You’re shopping with your kids on a busy weekend, and a salesperson approaches, adamant that you listen to his pitch.
What to do
Give him a big smile and engage him for a few seconds, says Christian Chua, behaviourist, body language and communication skills teacher, and founder of Christian Chua Training Academy in Singapore. Then tell him you already have the product, or are not interested.
“Sound confident. Say, ‘Thanks but I’ve gone thorough this and it’s not for me’,” says Christian. “If he persists, it’s because you didn’t sound sure of yourself.”
2. OOPS, I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT
You say something in the heat of the moment that offends someone. You regret it the second it rolls off your tongue but it’s too late.
What to do
Yvonne Anjelina, director and chief etiquette coach at The Etiquette School Singapore, says you should apologise right away. Say sincerely: “‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that’, or ‘I’m sorry, I take that back. Please forgive me’. Follow up with a ‘Sorry’ card or some other nice gesture.” Next time, if a conversation gets heated, cut it short.
3. PLEASE SHUT UP ALREADY
Your friend is going on about something when you’re in a hurry, or a relative keeps telling the same story.
What to do
“Gingerly change the subject,” Yvonne advises. “If, say, your colleague is going on about her mother-in-law visiting Resorts World Sentosa, quickly jump in and say, ‘Oh, have you been there yet? What about Universal Studios? We should organise a visit there sometime.”
4. BREAK IT UP, PEOPLE
You’re having dinner with your friend and her husband, and she says something that angers him. They start arguing heatedly with each other at the table.
What to do
If you know the couple well, Yvonne says you can try calming them down. Say: “Oh, come on. Let’s forget it and enjoy the meal. Hey, remember the last time we came here and…”
If you don’t know them well, Yvonne suggests keeping quiet and looking away. “Pretend not to notice,” she says. “If it escalates, excuse yourself and go to the restroom. Hopefully, they’ll get the hint and stop before you return. If they’re still at it, say you’re sorry but you have to go home immediately because of an emergency.”
5. SHE CALLED ME FAT!
You’re at a family gathering when one of your aunts remarks loudly that you’ve put on weight. Everyone falls silent and you’re completely mortified.
What to do
Turn it into a joke. Hurt or embarrassed as you are, don’t be afraid to poke fun at yourself. Eunice Tan, founder of Image Flair Academy of Modern Etiquette in Singapore, suggests saying: “So, you noticed my new sexy curves! I love them!” This should lighten the mood and take the focus off your aunt’s rudeness.
6. HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER?
A telemarketer is on the line, trying to sell something. You want to hang up but you feel bad about doing that.
What to do
“Hear her out if you have the time,” says Christian. “But if you are busy and want to end the conversation, tell her politely that you hear what she’s saying but are not interested. If she keeps pushing, simply say, ‘Thanks for your time, I don’t mean to be rude but I’m going to end this conversation and will be hanging up’.” Then, hang up.
7. SMELLS LIKE A BAD MEETING
You’re with a client who has bad breath, and the assault on your nostrils is killing you. Unfortunately, you cannot sit any farther away.
What to do
“Excuse yourself and get some fresh air,” Christian suggests. “Her bad breath may just be the result of a dry mouth, so offer her a glass of water or a cup of tea.”
8. GIVE MY KID A BREAK
Your toddler is throwing a tantrum in a store and screaming his lungs out. Another customer scolds him in front of everyone before turning to you to complain about your child’s behaviour.
What to do
You might be tempted to tell the customer off but bite your tongue. Just say you’re sorry and carry your kid out of the store to prevent further drama, says Eunice.
9. MY TREAT, NOT!
You’re dining with an acquaintance. When the bill arrives, she looks away and doesn’t offer to pay her share. How do you tell her without seeming rude?
What to do
“Usually, the one who invites pays the bill,” says Eunice. “If you don’t want to pay her share, tell her, ‘The bill says that your meal came up to $…. Shall I settle the bill first and then you can pay me later?’”
This article was originally published in Simply Her September 2012.
