Dr Lim Boon Leng, a psychiatrist at Gleneagles Hospital
Ho Shee Wai, director and registered psychologist at The Counselling Place
DO talk to him before posting sensitive information
For instance, he might not be comfortable with you sharing an unflattering photo of him lounging around at home in his boxers. And don’t upload sexy photos of yourself – know that some things are for your man’s eyes only.
DO exchange passwords
Sharing passwords signals trust and intimacy between a couple – after all, there shouldn’t be risque messages to hide. However, it’s perfectly legitimate to want to protect your private conversations with friends, who might not be comfortable having someone else in the know. Talk it over with your partner to make sure you’re both on the same page.
DO put away your phones in each other’s presence
“Don’t let your obsession with checking your social media feeds distract you from spending quality time with your spouse. That status update or tweet can wait,” urges Dr Lim Boon Leng, a psychiatrist at Gleneagles Hospital. So, ditch your phone and reconnect with your other half – having a heart-to-heart conversation is something no amount of “likes” can replicate.
DON’T vent your anger online “It’s never wise to air your dirty laundry with your spouse on social media, whether on your Facebook wall or his. Embarrassing him online will only create more tension and subject your relationship to public scrutiny,” says Dr Lim. Cryptic, passive-aggressive posts don’t help either as they are easily misinterpreted and might fuel the frustration.
If you’re suddenly overwhelmed by a desire to express your affection for Hubby, send him a private message or text rather than spam his Facebook wall. A 2014 survey conducted by American think-tank Pew Research Center suggests that 36 per cent of Facebook users “strongly dislike” it when people share too much personal information.
“So don’t make public what’s meant to be private, whether it is a lovey-dovey message, secret nicknames or intimate pictures,” advises Ho Shee Wai, director and registered psychologist at The Counselling Place. And excessive public displays of affection might end up annoying your friends or making them uncomfortable.
DON’T sweat his interactions with others
It’s all too easy to project your insecurities onto his social media activity. But don’t overanalyse his likes and comments on posts created by others. Only call him out when you feel that something is amiss, for instance, if you sense that there’s inappropriate sexual innuendo.
DON’T get jealous of other picture-perfect couples
“Social media is a public space where posts are curated to present positive aspects of a relationship,” Dr Lim notes. Plus, angles and filters make photos appear better than they really are. So the next time you feel a tinge of envy after scrolling through beautiful photos of another couple, remember that a lot of the things you see online are staged or enhanced.
This article was originally published in Simply Her January 2016.