Xenia Tan is dreaming big

When we meet Xenia for this interview, it’s impossible not to start with the topic everyone’s talking about: her relationship with fellow actor Shawn Thia.

Fresh from their star-studded wedding, the couple are in the thick of moving into their first marital home – a five-room resale flat in Ang Mo Kio – a milestone that’s unfolding in real-time as we speak (this interview takes place on their moving day).

The newly-weds first met on the set of Fresh Takes! in 2019, and their initial impressions of each other weren’t the best. Shawn felt that Xenia was a little arrogant, while she mistakenly thought that he batted for the other team.

It wasn’t exactly a storybook beginning. Xenia admits, with refreshing candour, that Shawn didn’t fit her idea of a “dream guy”. He’s a year younger, and they weren’t even friends at first. Then there’s the matter of physical attraction.

“I really love tanned, muscular [guys], like when their arm is thicker than my thigh. It gives me a sense of security,” the 30-year-old shares candidly.

It wasn’t until a year later, when they reunited while filming the dystopian drama The Algorithm (2021), that sparks began to fly. The two played romantic leads, which required them to build a closer rapport. Shawn developed feelings for her and eventually confessed, but Xenia turned him down.

“I thought that it was remnants of what we’d been working on as actors. It might not be a permanent emotion,” Xenia explains, adding that the rejection was especially painful for Shawn, who had been so sure of his feelings.

Then, everything changed when Shawn went through “the lowest point in his life” the following year.

She says: “I just felt like I needed to be there physically. I couldn’t bear to see [him in that state] and needed to do something about it.”

“That’s when I realised these feelings were not just from [working on] the series.”

Considering that Shawn is – by Xenia’s admission – the total opposite of her “dream guy”, what drew her to him then? Turns out, it was his soft, sensitive side that won her over.

Xenia notes that Shawn is deeply observant and attuned to emotions – he’s able to hold space for her during moments of heightened emotions, like when she’s feeling overwhelmed, or when she’s having a particularly challenging time of the month.

“I think it’s a very rare trait to have, and I treasure it. My favourite part [of our relationship] is not having to explain myself so explicitly, and having someone who understands me,” she adds.

Given their dynamic, it’s no surprise that Shawn’s support has become a cornerstone as Xenia’s acting career gains momentum.

A star on the rise

In the last few years, Xenia has had a career trajectory quite unlike most budding local artistes. She scored roles in the award-winning Singapore film Wonderland (2023) – opposite local actors Mark Lee and Peter Yu, who have been carving out a niche in the local indie film scene – and mystery thriller Stranger Eyes (2024). The latter had its world premiere at the 81st Venice International Film Festival, marking a historic moment as the first Singapore film to compete for the festival’s highest honour, the Golden Lion.

Through her acting work, Xenia embarked on press tours and even had the opportunity to walk the red carpet at the Venice Film Festival dressed in an iconic Bvlgari Serpenti necklace, which she says empowered her by making her feel “bold, distinctive, and ready to take on the world.”

With a nervous laugh, Xenia explains that she is “learning how to survive these new experiences that are weirdly scary”. The actress constantly worries about whether she is wearing the right outfit, giving the correct answers, mentioning the film enough in her interviews, or behaving appropriately.

“I overthink too much in these kinds of social interactions. It’s intimidating because it feels like all these important people are here. I would love to get to know [them], but I don’t know how,” she adds. As for how she overcomes it, Xenia points to her husband.

“Shawn would tell me, ‘Actually, nobody cares. You care too much about what people think’,” she shares. “His answer really grounds me, because honestly, who cares? When I walk past someone, what I remember is their energy. I never, ever remember if they are fashionable.”

Unexpected beginnings

The starlet’s acting journey happened rather serendipitously. Upon graduation, Xenia, who majored in history at the National University of Singapore, was fairly certain that she was going to enrol in the National Institute of Education and become a teacher.

“I am a girl with many, many dreams. I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to be an air stewardess,” she says, adding that she was inspired by her secondary school teachers, who provided guidance during her rebellious teenage years. But she wanted to try something fun first – which was how she ended up as an intern at online food publication, Eatbook.

At the end of her internship, Xenia didn’t receive any offers to become a full-time writer because, to put it bluntly, she wasn’t good at it. However, her ex-boss saw something in her and offered her the opportunity to be on-screen.

“That’s when a new dream sparked in my mind – of becoming a host,” she says.

That marked the start of Xenia’s career as a talent with The Smart Local (TSL), a travel and lifestyle publication owned by TSL Media Group, which, unbeknown to her then, would pave the way for her current career.

From content creator to actress

At TSL, Xenia built a following as both a talent and content creator. She appeared in numerous short films and series, most notably Hired or Fired, where she took on a variety of jobs for a day – from tattoo artist to fishmonger to preschool teacher.

Still, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she had more to offer, and wondered if she could perhaps show a different side of herself on-screen.

“But what people wanted to see was Xenia who is very blur and always in a happy mood. It has always been a dilemma for me,” she confesses. This led her to consider if there was another platform where she could showcase what she calls Xenia 2.0. That’s when she decided to give acting a try.

While the bubbly personality excelled at hosting, she quickly discovered that acting was a whole different ball game. A serious turn in a Youtube commercial exposed her shortcomings, leaving her acutely aware of how much work she had ahead. That sparked a curiosity in Xenia – and a desire to master the craft.

It was then that Xenia decided to fully commit to acting. In the second half of 2019, she packed her bags and moved to New York, immersing herself in six months of intensive acting and comedy training at the New York Film Academy, The Barrow Group, and the Upright Citizens Brigade – an investment that came with a hefty $50,000 price tag.

But the city dealt her a reality check very quickly. As part of a three-day masterclass, Xenia auditioned in front of a panel of casting directors and agents.

“I thought I gave a really good performance,” she recalls. “That was the first time I felt like I prepared well… and something surprising came out of it.”

Then came the question that would dash her hopes: “Are you going to be a US citizen?”

When Xenia explained that she’s Singaporean, the response from the panel was brutally honest: “If you don’t have a green card, it’s going to be really difficult.”

For the aspiring actress, who believed that talent and hard work would be enough, the harsh reality was crushing. Her dream of being “discovered” suddenly felt naive – a far cry from the promise of New York as the city where dreams are made of, as immortalised in the song “Empire State of Mind”.

The irony was not lost on Xenia as she bawled her eyes out while walking down Times Square after that experience.

“I just cried like a crazy woman. It was so liberating to feel the emotion, and not having to pretend like I’m OK,” she admits.

Though her dreams of making it big in the Big Apple didn’t pan out, Xenia has been steadily carving a name for herself in Singapore’s entertainment scene. Her breakout performance as Eileen in the film Wonderland not only showcased her acting range, but also captured the attention of audiences and critics alike.

For someone so determined to prove herself as an actress, Xenia’s reaction to landing her first big-screen role was unexpectedly cool. She admits it didn’t spark the overwhelming emotions she had anticipated.

It wasn’t until she saw her name on the big screen that it hit her. Even then, she doesn’t feel like she has “made it”, but is quick to point out that she’s proud of her achievement.

“I always remind myself to give myself some credit,” she reflects. “Maybe I don’t find it impressive now, but the Xenia from five years ago – the one in New York – would find it super impressive, you know?”

The road ahead

To a casual observer, life seems to be falling perfectly into place for Xenia. She’s happily married, settling into her new home, and making strides in her acting career. But does she feel like she’s living the dream?

Xenia pauses for a beat to ponder, before answering in the affirmative.

“I never imagined that I’d go the conventional route – getting married and buying a house in Singapore,” she admits. “I always thought I’ll be an outlier, maybe go overseas, around the world, and be a travel nomad.”

“But yeah, I became a true blue Singaporean,” she says with a laugh. Xenia shares that while she’s happy with her life, she’s still some way from becoming the actress she aspires to be.

“I’m far from it, but I feel like I’m on the right track.”

PHOTOGRAPHY ZANTZ HAN, ASSISTED BY MICHELLE YAP & COBY TRAVIS LAZAROO CREATIVE DIRECTION & STYLING LENA KAMARUDIN, ASSISTED BY PRIYANKA PATEL & JEON JAE WON
ART DIRECTION RAY TICSAY
HAIR & MAKEUP WU YIQING, USING CHARLOTTE TILBURY
PROP MASTER PEARLCELIA LIONG