Would you marry a younger man? Real women talk age gaps and expectations

Sick of being told what’s “normal” or “acceptable” when it comes to your womanhood? Wondering why ambition, sex, relationships — basically your entire life — still come with unspoken rules? Her Terms Only is Her World’s no-filter column that dives straight into the minds (and mouths) of women — and occasionally men — across generations to share unfiltered takes on the topics we’re often told not to talk about. From unpacking internalised sexism to confronting cultural taboos, this crowd-sourced series doesn’t tiptoe around the truth. It calls it out, flips the script, and challenges patriarchal norms and outdated gender roles in a uniquely Singaporean fashion. Because when the world tries to box her in, she makes it clear — she’s living on Her Terms Only.

We’ve all heard the saying “age is just a number” — but when it comes to marriage, does that really hold up? While men can date women half their age without raising eyebrows (like Leonardo DiCaprio), women who even consider a younger man are often branded “cougars” or accused of clinging to youth. The double standard? Alive and well.

But here’s the twist: more women today are questioning whether age should matter at all. From a hard “never” to a confident “absolutely”, we unearthed thoughts on gender roles, financial security, emotional intelligence and what Singaporean women really want in a life partner.

Spoiler: It’s more than just age.

Dating can be casual, but marriage? Now, that’s commitment.

Dating a younger man might sound like a fun story to tell your friends over cocktails. But when the “What are we?” talk starts turning into “Should we buy BTO?” — things get serious…fast.

23-year-old Sameera says she wouldn’t mind dating someone younger, provided he has a growth mindset. That, to her, is a non-negotiable.

Meanwhile, Kirah, 24, dismissed the idea outright — and her stance is rooted in personal experience.

Emotional maturity: The real age gap

Forget the years — the real gap often lies in emotional readiness. Many women expressed that younger men often lack the self-awareness or communication skills needed for long-term relationships. But not always.

23-year-old Heera, who’s dating a man who is a year younger than her, insists maturity isn’t always tied to age.

23-year-old Giselle reiterates that emotional maturity would be her top priority if she were to date someone younger.

On the flip side, Laura, 44, believes maturity tends to come with age.

Emotional safety and maturity are the foundation of any strong partnership — and for most, if that’s missing, it doesn’t matter how good-looking he is.

A lack of space to develop emotional literacy or mindfulness often hinders one’s ability to form healthy relationships, both with oneself and others. It can eventually lead to difficulty in expressing personal needs and in recognising or responding to the emotional needs of a partner.

Can he afford to be with you?

Money. It’s not everything in love, but it sure can complicate things, especially when traditional gender roles still linger.

For 26-year-old Daya, growing up in a household and faith that clearly defined the man’s role as the financial provider shaped her expectations for marriage. In her words, “It’s not optional, it’s a duty.”

Independence changes the game — financial support isn’t a must-have. For Sandra, 26, love doesn’t hinge on a man’s wallet.

Sandra highlighted a commonly overlooked issue — male pride.

Traditional gender roles, often reinforced by faith or societal norms, place the man in the role of provider. When he’s unable to fulfil that, even something as simple as splitting the bill can trigger feelings of inadequacy. It’s not always about ego, she pointed out — sometimes it’s the quiet frustration or helplessness of falling short of deeply ingrained gender norms.

Why is it okay for men to date younger, but not women?

We’ve all seen the older-man-younger-woman pairing romanticised in media over the years. Think George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, or Jay Chou. But when the woman is older? Suddenly it’s “cougar” this, “desperate” that.

Meanwhile, Bhavani, 56, rejects that narrative altogether.

Why do we shame women for doing what men have done forever? Is it so wrong to date someone who makes them feel seen, safe, and satisfied?

Interestingly, 24-year-old Nadine shares that in her Filipino upbringing, cultural norms often cast older women as caretakers rather than romantic partners.

Who’s threatened by an established woman?

As more women take on roles as breadwinners and career leaders, marrying someone who earns less is becoming less surprising—at least to women. The real friction often arises from men grappling with the reversal of traditional gender roles.

If anything, the shift in gender roles is forcing both men and women to confront old assumptions. Being the more “established” partner can be empowering — but only if your partner chooses to see it that way, too.

So… would you?

Age gaps hit differently depending on life stage. It’s about shared experience and alignment of values, not just the number.

When it comes to marrying a younger man, women today are far more open-minded — but also far more intentional. Because in 2025, women aren’t just asking if he’s the one. They’re asking: Is he emotionally mature, goal-driven, and ready to love in all the ways that matter?

And that’s the only kind of age-gap conversation worth having.