Would you date a short king? Singaporean women on attraction, height and modern masculinity

Sick of being told what’s “normal” or “acceptable” when it comes to your womanhood? Wondering why ambition, sex, relationships — basically your entire life — still come with unspoken rules? Her Terms Only is Her World’s no-filter column that dives straight into the minds (and mouths) of women — and occasionally men — across generations to share unfiltered takes on the topics we’re often told not to talk about. From unpacking internalised sexism to confronting cultural taboos, this crowd-sourced series doesn’t tiptoe around the truth. It calls it out, flips the script, and challenges patriarchal norms and outdated gender roles in a uniquely Singaporean fashion. Because when the world tries to box her in, she makes it clear — she’s living on Her Terms Only.

If you’ve yet to hear of the term “short king”, it is very likely that you’re living under a rock. Originating from a 2018 tweet by comedian Jaboukie Young-White about him being called “short” as an insult, the hashtag #shortking garnered over 1.4 billion views on TikTok.

“Short kings are the enemy of body negativity, and I’ll be forever proud to defend them,” White concludes. What began as a tongue-in-cheek tweet has since evolved into a full-blown cultural movement — one that champions self-love, challenges outdated beauty standards, and reclaims confidence for men who fall outside the stereotypical “tall, dark, and handsome” ideal.

One celeb who’s clearly unbothered by the stereotype? None other than Tom Holland. “Five foot seven and a half is how tall I am, proudly,” he once said—and honestly, it just adds to his charm as the internet’s ultimate short king.

With everyone’s prized couple, Tom Holland and Zendaya, we not only fell in love with their cute on and off-screen moments in Spider-Man: No Way Home, but their vast height difference, with Zendaya being 5’10” and Holland being 5’6”. While it is clear that Holland’s height has not had any effect on his crush-worthy status, he has since provided men with more autonomy and confidence over their stature. 

In a society where men are still expected to fit the mould of hegemonic masculinity — tall, dominant, and always the bigger presence — short kings are flipping the script. They’re challenging outdated gender norms and redefining what it means to be attractive and masculine. But is that conversation resonating here in Singapore? We asked local women what they really think about dating men who don’t fit the typical tall, dark, and handsome mould.

“Short kings have to be funny — otherwise, they are just short”

If anything, 26-year-old Cathay testifies that a short king’s personality ought to outweigh their stature.

Funny, charismatic, bright — if these aren’t the attributes that you look for, then you probably are looking for tangible wins, which rightfully aren’t wrong. But perhaps it is time we do give the short kings a shot, and see them from within.

In an episode of “Men, Explain”, when asked by Amanda if men have to work a lot harder in terms of personality or dressing, host Avery says, “Why do you think I try to be funny all the time?”

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It really is the sad reality that men feel the need to overcompensate for their height with other qualities such as humour and charisma. Take the legendary comedian, Kevin Hart, for example — we see how his humour has left him winning the hearts of many. Truthfully, all men ought to be funny and have good character. But it almost appears that men who are vertically challenged are left with no alternative but to exude these qualities to be on par with the conventionally attractive men in society. However, men who fit the beauty standards might not feel as intense pressure to exhibit such qualities.

Do taller girls feel like they have to settle for “less”?

24-year-old, Alya, like taller girls, feels like she has to be okay with dating a shorter guy, especially in Asian countries where height seems to be a greater disadvantage to us women. The lingering double standard between men and women continues to be an issue, as women are seen as “too masculine” or “intimidating” when they are taller than their male counterparts. On the other hand, patriarchal norms have imposed height to be a symbol of strength and dominance, which suggests competence and confidence in a man.

On the contrary, shorter girls, 20-year-old, Pritihi alike, are more accepting of short kings as they are still shorter than their partner, which conforms to the stereotypes that society has imposed on men.

The question of whether they are accepting of short kings or rather are conveniently accepting given the conformative height difference arises.

Are men being a little too hard on themselves for their height?

Many men have internalised the traditions of masculinity, resulting in a compulsion to fit the ideal beauty script. The projection of insecurities is detrimental to their mental well-being as they are made to feel like they are not good enough.

Social constructs of masculinity have not only impeded physical but also digital portrayals of men on dating apps. Men usually mention their height upfront in their dating app bio, further perpetuating the perception of height as a measure of masculinity. 

Raymond further exacerbated the likelihood of guys comparing themselves to other men.

“I personally never cared for this type of thing. But in general, men do care a lot,” shared 25-year-old Rayyan, who has had multiple interactions with his male friends who have expressed their insecurities with their height.

And so, if there’s one thing that we can do about this, it’s to give credit where it’s due. Gone are the days when we applaud men for their stature, and only their stature. While we understand the importance of external beauty and physical attraction, it is just as important, if not more, to date someone genuine, kind and emotionally intelligent. Besides, who’s to say that a short king can’t embody these qualities just as well, if not better?

Her words echo what many are starting to realise: when a man shows up with confidence, emotional depth and respect, his height becomes irrelevant. But until society stops linking tallness with power and masculinity, short kings will still find themselves needing to prove their worth in ways taller men rarely have to. Maybe it’s time we rewrote the rules — and started seeing value eye-to-eye.