In my youth, I struggled to find the look that I was comfortable with. At times, I felt like I was trying too hard to follow “cool” trends, and ended up uncomfortable and insecure. Nothing feels worse than walking into a room feeling out of place. Unfortunately, when we’re insecure, people around us can sense it, and we often end up acting up to mask our insecurities or saying the wrong things, or worse, being rude because we are so busy trying to make ourselves feel better that we can’t have a proper conversation with confidence.
Ultimately, I realised that I needed to accept my flaws and embrace a style that works for my body type and personality.
As an etiquette consultant today, it’s my core belief that looking your best is essential to leading a better life. First impressions still count in business and social situations, and while a great personality can win others over eventually, why not start by putting your best foot forward?
Looking put together shows respect for others: You wouldn’t go to a funeral or a wedding in shorts and sandals, so why turn up to a fine dining restaurant in casual garb? The same goes for the workplace. Show respect to your colleagues by dressing appropriately, and they will be respectful to you. (Plus, appearance and good manners are linked to career advancement.)
When you feel good about yourself, you radiate confidence, which colours your interactions with others in a positive way. Few people realise that making an effort to look your best is the ultimate form of self-love. That’s why I always start my etiquette sessions with clients by discussing the importance of finding a signature look that makes them look and feel good. When you know what your signature look is, the process of getting dressed feels less daunting, making it an easy daily habit to implement.
If you struggle to find your signature look, create what I like to call “The Feel Good Journal” by noting down the following:
What are you wearing when you feel the most confident and why?
Who are you with when you feel good about yourself?
What compliments do you tend to receive about your appearance?
Which parts of you do you love, and which parts do you want to work on?
What do you enjoy – or don’t enjoy – about dressing up? (Focus on specifics to help you understand your likes and dislikes)
Who is your style inspo and why?
You should also add some photos of your favourite looks or styles. After completing all that, you can determine what works for you. Be as detailed as possible, because it’s not about dressing over the top, or wearing the most expensive jewellery; it’s about finding the look that will make you shine from within. I believe in looking effortless, but put together.
We are all gifted with our own special style that enhances our personality and that brings out the best in us. We just have to look inwards, be kind to ourselves, and enjoy the journey. When you take care of your appearance, you look better, feel better, and attract better opportunities.