Shireena Shroff Manchharam on balancing mum guilt

June heralds the arrival of summer holidays, bringing with it the perennial challenge of keeping children entertained and the accompanying mum guilt. As parents eagerly scour blogs for engaging activities, there’s an increasing sense of anxiety and pressure to fill each day, overshadowing the joy that holidays once brought. Working parents face the guilt of balancing work commitments with precious family time, while stay-at-home mums often feel overwhelmed by the disruption to their routines. So, how can we strike a balance between alleviating guilt and creating memorable summers?

Embrace a balanced mindset

Firstly, it’s essential for parents to prioritise their own activities, both personal and professional, during their children’s holidays. Identify what’s most important and consider what can be adjusted or removed from your schedule to maximise family time. Remember, holidays are a time for children to decompress and reset, free from the rigours of school, early mornings, and homework. Plan family-centric activities like cooking and meal planning together, or enjoy movies and shows around Singapore. Be intentional and mindful in your planning to create meaningful memories without burning out.

Do less, enjoy more

One common pitfall that can transform holiday joy into overwhelming stress is the tendency to over-plan and overschedule. Reflect on your own childhood, when holidays were often unscheduled, filled with lazy days where you were left to your own devices. Modern parenting, coupled with societal pressure, has led to the belief that school breaks must be packed with stimulating activities. However, studies show that boredom is beneficial for children, sparking creativity and encouraging them to find their own ways to stay occupied. Resist the urge to be the master planner of every hour and allow your children some downtime. Concerns about tech overuse are valid, but a balance can be struck.

Be intentional

As summer begins, establish rules for device use and encourage your children to choose more educational entertainment options. Teach them to make smart choices with their screen time. For younger children, set screen time limits and boundaries around device use. Offer a variety of options that don’t involve technology and involve your children in researching fun family activities. Try and avoid the pressure to overschedule. Encourage outdoor play, daily healthy habits, and help them set personal goals for the summer. Holidays should be a delightful time for both parents and children—a chance to connect, reset, and create lasting memories.

Shireena Shroff Manchharam is a Her World Tribe member, the founder and principal consultant of Sheens Image Consulting, and the founder and creator of Getting to Happy, a mental health movement to inspire our community and society to live happier, more mindful lives.