What is life like as a politician's spouse? MP Baey Yam Keng's wife shares all

They met in school at Hwa Chong Junior College

Credit: ST PHOTO: GAVIN FOO

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This interview with ST was held at a relatively quiet spot in Fort Canning Park, where he proposed to her in 1996 as they were celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival with a lantern – and a ring. They were married a year later.

But they had been friends since 1987, when they met at Hwa Chong Junior College at the age of 17. He was from the science stream, while she was an arts student. They were both in the Chinese society, where he was vice-chairman and she was heading the theatre group.

He was to play her love interest in a drama she starred in, but backed out as he was afraid of acting on stage.

They've been through thick and thin

Credit: ST PHOTO: GAVIN FOO

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In real life, he asked her three times before she agreed to be his girlfriend in 1994. She was hesitant as she was worried about losing a good friend if the relationship failed. Mr Baey Yam Keng and Ms Lim Hai Yen were married in 1997

Since then, the soulmates have remained steadfast, leaning on each other through their darkest moments in life.

For her, it was when aphasia – a communication disorder that results from damage through injury or disease to the regions of the brain responsible for language – stripped her of her ability to communicate in 2020 after she suffered a stroke. For him, it was when he was diagnosed with stage one nose cancer in 2021.

They supported each other and made it through to the other side of their health scares together.

She regained her communication skills after about three months, and he has been cancer-free since April 2022 after undergoing radiation therapy.

“What I gained far exceeded what I lost,” the ever-positive Ms Lim said of her illness. “I did some soul-searching and reconnected with myself during this period.”

It is of great significance to her that she can express herself again, she added.

Mr Baey counts himself lucky that his cancer was diagnosed at an early stage, and the treatment was “relatively simple”.

“A lot more people have weathered worse health conditions or other obstacles in life,” he said. “I have been blessed with a good life so far.”

He still has to have a medical review once every two months, but life is otherwise almost back to normal.

“We need to take care of ourselves,” he said. “By being in a good state of mind and health, we are also helping our family and loved ones so that we don’t become a burden to them.”

How they complement each other

Credit: Ms Lim Hai Yen has been married for 26 years to Tampines GRC MP Baey Yam Keng. ST PHOTO: GAVIN FOO

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The youthful-looking Mr Baey is widely recognised as one of the most stylish MPs in Singapore.

For example, he wore a hanbok-inspired top with a Chinese knot and embroidery to the 2022 National Day Parade – not a typical fashion choice for most of his party mates.

This, however, is a source of stress for his wife.

“When I go out with him, I have to make a special effort to look presentable,” she said. “Coming from a creative background, I tend to be more carefree and don’t care what others think about me.”

Mr Baey said he eschewed his own fashion choices and opted for safe and plain colours for a while to fit the stereotypical image of an MP.

“But that’s not me. It doesn’t give me confidence. I realised it’s best to be myself and I will just do what I’m happy with,” he said.

And while he enjoys a good run outside of work for exercise, she is more interested in the breakfast that comes after the exercise.

While this is not where their differences end, the couple observe that they complement each other well.

“She’s an artistic person constantly looking for new experiences, but I like routine,” Mr Baey said. “She doesn’t have a good sense of money, but that means she is also low-maintenance and thrifty, preferring quirky costume jewellery to precious gems.”

He added: “And I’m happy she pursues her own interests to occupy herself, and has talent in writing and directing.”

Despite the stress that comes with being Mrs Baey, Ms Lim said marrying him was better than winning the lottery.

“He is not just my good friend, but a good father and teacher. He taught me many things: (how to do) household chores, use the computer, drive, look after the kids… he is analytical and can see far and deep,” she wrote.

“After all these years, what hasn’t changed is his sincerity towards people, and he’s always so real.”

For Mr Baey, family will always be a priority

Credit: LIM HAI YEN

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While Mr Baey confessed he is not a romantic person, theirs is a lifetime of romance sustained by fond memories and moments – they still write cards or little notes to each other.

On their honeymoon in Alaska, she pointed out a beautiful bracelet that had caught her eye. However, she decided not to buy it as it was quite expensive, and they were already preparing to go home.

He excused himself while she was packing their bags in the hotel. That night, on the flight back home, he whisked out the bracelet and wished her happy birthday.

Such sweet gestures did not stop there. For their 24th wedding anniversary, he sent her 24 captioned photos of themselves each hour throughout the day.

For Mr Baey, family will always be a priority.

“This political office will not last forever,” he said. “So it’s important to have a close-knit family that we can always turn to.”

For Better, For Worse will be launched on May 27 at 10.30am at Big Picture Theatre (Level 9, Capital Tower). Those who are keen to attend can register at https://go.cityreading.sg/limhaiyen2023

The book is priced at $25.92 (inclusive of GST) and available at leading bookstores, Amazon.sg and Zshop.

This article was originally published in The Straits Times.