How do Gen Z Singaporeans really feel about having children?

Her Terms Only is Her World’s no-filter column that dives straight into the minds (and mouths) of women — and occasionally men — across generations to share unfiltered takes on the topics we’re often told not to talk about. From unpacking internalised sexism to confronting cultural taboos, this crowd-sourced series doesn’t tiptoe around the truth. It calls it out, flips the script, and challenges patriarchal norms and outdated gender roles in a uniquely Singaporean fashion.

What has been deemed as an “existential crisis” by Deputy Prime Minister Gan Kim Yong, Singapore’s fertility rate has hit an all-time low of 0.87. For a nation that strongly champions family building, the growing fear that Singapore may become an ageing society with declining birth rates has been deeply concerning for the government.

And yet, we spoke to Gen Z Singaporeans today, and a different picture emerges, one where the idea of having children isn’t rejected outright, but carefully, anxiously, and sometimes painfully reconsidered.

Because it’s not that young people hate children. In fact, many adore them. But they’re just not confident they have the capabilities or the capacity to raise one. 

Here’s what Gen Z Singaporeans had to say on the topic of starting a family.

Raising a child, but at what cost?

Amid inflation, many Gen Z Singaporeans have voiced concerns about the rising cost of living. “Singapore is too expensive… from hospital bills during labour to a lifetime of support for the child,” tells 23-year-old Elise, who works as a preschool teacher.

For many young Singaporeans, the so-called “Singaporean dream” (study hard, get a degree, secure a stable job, apply for BTO, get married, have children) feels increasingly out of reach.

Kelly, 24, questions why she should give up her sense of freedom after years in an academically driven environment. “You feel like you finally have some time for yourself to take a breather from the pressure cooker environment, so why would you want to dedicate any emotional capacity to raise a child for the rest of your lives?” she ponders.

The quiet fear of not being enough

Beyond finances lies something harder to admit: self-doubt.

“I don’t trust myself to parent well,” Jane confesses, reflecting on unresolved childhood trauma and emotional triggers. This isn’t an isolated sentiment.

Many Gen Z Singaporeans grew up more emotionally aware than previous generations. They are actively unpacking generational trauma, questioning parenting styles, and wondering what things would look like if they “messed up”. 

A competitive society that never really slows down

Saumya, 23, shares that she doesn’t want her child to grow up in Singapore’s intense, efficiency-driven environment. 

Heera, 23, dreams of a big family, but not in Singapore. 

Her decision to move overseas implies a broader shift amongst Gen Z Singaporeans, who are increasingly open to building lives elsewhere, places they feel offer more space, flexibility, and balance.

But this comes with its own tension. Leaving Singapore may mean gaining freedom but also losing cultural roots. “The erosion of Asian values, of community, of the kind of rootedness that holds a family together across generations. I see it happening, slowly, but clearly,” echoes Heera.

Redefining what a family looks like

Not everyone who opts out of having children is rejecting family altogether. They’re just redefining it.

21-year-old Yu Xuan expresses a preference for adoption, seeing it as more meaningful and compassionate. 

Others are open to non-traditional structures like single parenthood. Pearlsi’s story is especially telling. Growing up in a complex family dynamic with a single mother, she too, was inspired to be a young independent mum. “For a while, I always told my friends I wanted children when I was in my early 20s because I wanted to be a young mum,” she ruminates.

“But navigating a broken family dynamic in terms of communication was tough because oftentimes my mum would side with her [eventual] husband instead of me. It could just be a personal thing for me as I didn’t really like the added masculine energy in my family dynamic. But I am now making peace with the fact that my mum is still a woman after all, and has needs and desires.”

So… do Gen Z Singaporeans want children?

It’s complicated. While fewer Gen Z Singaporeans are seeing it as an obligation, they still wish to have children, but on their own terms.

26-year-old Chloe, a preschool dance teacher, will only have children when she is financially stable to give them a better childhood than she had.

So, this isn’t a generation that’s necessarily anti-children. It’s a generation that is hyper-aware of the realities of parenting, unwilling to compromise on quality of life, and deeply intentional about the lives they choose to create for themselves and their future children. 

Singapore’s low fertility rate isn’t just a statistic. It’s a reflection of shifting values and how younger Singaporeans see life today. While previous generations saw children as a natural next step, Gen Z sees them as a choice because they wish to give children the very best they deserve.