“Each wave of harassment would mentally set me back by two weeks”: Inside the quiet crisis of online abuse
With digital abuse on the rise, women are breaking their silence to expose broken systems, and push for a future where safety and dignity aren’t negotiable
By Syed Zulfadhli -
When Juniper* started receiving doctored nude photos of herself every 15 minutes, she didn’t know who to turn to. The messages came from fake accounts, one after another.
“I couldn’t be present with my kids,” she recalls. “I was constantly checking my phone, feeling violated and helpless. Even when I blocked one account, another would appear. It felt endless.”
At first, she told no one – not even her husband. “I felt ashamed,” she says. “He knew something was off, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it.” Eventually, a close friend urged her to report the abuse to the police. That moment marked the beginning of her journey to reclaim control.
For Nisha*, it started with anonymous calls and messages after she sought mentorship from a male colleague. The harassment soon escalated into a two-year ordeal involving dozens of fake accounts tracking her social media activity, quoting team conversations she was never part of, and subtly taunting her with references only insiders would know.
“Each wave of harassment would mentally set me back by two weeks,” she says. “I began to question my sanity.”
The sustained surveillance left her emotionally withdrawn, and at one point, so wary that she began avoiding interactions with male colleagues altogether – a habit she later recognised as self-limiting.
Broader reality behind the stories
Their stories reflect a wider pattern of harm identified in SG Her Empowerment’s (SHE) latest study, 404 Help Not Found: Lived Experiences of Online Harms Survivors. Launched in May 2025, the report is the third in a series since 2023, documenting 25 cases of image-based abuse, cyberstalking, and digital harassment – many involving known perpetrators and lasting trauma.
Among SHE’s findings:
- 1 in 4 survivors were satisfied with platform responses.
- 1 in 3 who pursued legal action found it adequate.
- 8 in 10 believed harms would decrease if perpetrators could be identified.
These insights point to four systemic fractures that deepen survivors’ trauma and hinder accountability.
The four fractures, and the victim’s silent struggles
According to SHE, these four fractures – emotional toll, limited recourse, anonymity, and normalisation – highlight how survivors are often retraumatised, blamed, and left to navigate their pain in silence.
1. The deep toll of harm: Survivors described ongoing trauma – panic attacks, anxiety, insomnia, and in some cases, suicidal thoughts.
Victims’ experience: Both Nisha and Juniper described months of anxiety, panic attacks, disorientation, and emotional exhaustion. Nisha said her mental health took a hit every time a new fake account appeared. “I felt like I was constantly being watched,” she shares. “Every follow request mirrored something I had posted. It made me retreat further into myself.”
Juniper similarly found herself emotionally paralysed. “I guess it got to a point I couldn’t function. I had to change my number and shut down all my social media accounts just to feel safe again.”
2. Limited options, unclear path: Many survivors found reporting systems confusing, slow, or emotionally draining.
Victims’ experience: Navigating formal channels proved overwhelming. Nisha filed a police report and applied for a Protection Order under the Protection from Harassment Act (POHA) – but only after compiling 152 pages of evidence. Despite her efforts, identifying the perpetrator remained out of reach. “I was told retrieving IP addresses could cost between $15,000 and $20,000,” she says. “It was beyond me.”
3. Anonymity shielding offenders: Perpetrators often hide behind fake accounts, making it difficult to trace them.
Victims’ experience: Both women noted how anonymous accounts multiplied and evolved. While Juniper wasn’t sure if the person sending doctored images was the same one who had once messaged her warmly about parenting, the abuse intensified every time she stopped responding.
4. Shame and normalisation: A culture of victim-blaming and downplaying online harm – especially sexual abuse – leads many survivors to stay silent.
Victims’ experience: Juniper feared being judged by her husband and those around her. Nisha encountered people who initially dismissed her concerns, telling her to “just ignore it” or “don’t overthink.”
“I wish more people understood what this kind of abuse does to you,” Juniper says. “You start thinking you caused it somehow.”
Reclaiming safety
The road to recovery has been uneven. But both women found strength in the support they received.
“It got to a point I found myself losing my mental peace,” Juniper shares. “My emotions were keeping me away from spending time with my kids. I would reach out for my phone to see if I receive anonymous texts again or anything similar.”
To regain a sense of control, she changed her phone number, privatised her social media accounts, and focused on spending more time outdoors with her children.
Nisha found her anchor in those closest to her.
“My close friends were my lifeline,” she says. “They helped me write better, listened without judgment, and provided full support throughout. SHE also played a critical role in helping me stand my ground.”
Both women acknowledge that the emotional impact lingers. And while some people initially downplayed what they were going through, the turning point came when the harassment escalated, and those around them stepped up to help.
What survivors need beyond empathy
While support from friends made a critical difference, it wasn’t enough. What Nisha and Juniper needed beyond empathy were systems that responded, protections that worked, and clear pathways to accountability.
To close the systemic gaps that left survivors like Nisha and Juniper feeling isolated, retraumatised, and without clear avenues for justice, SHE is calling for four key reforms.
- Restore survivor agency with safe, accessible support pathways.
- Hold platforms accountable for faster, transparent action.
- Close anonymity loopholes that allow repeat abuse.
- Shift societal norms through education and awareness.
These reforms aim to strengthen protection mechanisms, improve institutional response, and reshape how online harm is understood and addressed in Singapore
“These reforms must be backed by mindset shifts,” adds SHE chairperson Stefanie Yuen Thio. “Especially among youth, whose earliest online experiences often shape what they accept as normal.”
Towards a safer digital future
The government has begun to act. In March 2025, Minister Josephine Teo announced the formation of Singapore’s Online Safety Commission, which will begin operations in 2026. Introduced under the upcoming Online Safety (Relief & Accountability) Bill, the Commission will have powers to issue takedown orders and request identifying information from platforms to support legal proceedings.
Meanwhile, SHE continues to offer direct support through SHECares@SCWO, a survivor-focused initiative launched in 2023. It has since assisted over 250 individuals and facilitated more than 175 takedown requests, offering trauma-informed counselling and pro bono legal advice to those affected by online harm.
“If we don’t challenge these norms now,” Stefanie warns, “online harms won’t just be normalised – they’ll be entrenched.”
*Names changed to protect privacy.
If you have any questions or would like to seek assistance, please reach out to SHECARES@SCWO at 8001 01 4616, WhatsApp: 6571 4400, or e-mail at shecares_scwo@she.org.sg.