10 funny replies to give when someone tells you to smile

If women had a dollar for every time someone told them to smile, we'd probably all be able to retire early.

It always seems to happen when you least expect it. You're on the MRT after a long day at work, waiting in line for your morning coffee, grabbing a drink with friends at a bar, or simply trying to get through the day. Then out of nowhere, someone says, "Smile."

Sometimes it's a stranger. Sometimes it's an acquaintance. Occasionally, it's even a client or someone you're trying to remain polite to. And while we're sure most people mean well, it can also leave you wondering why we are expected to look cheerful on command?

So, we asked the women around us how they'd respond if someone told them to smile. From witty one-liners to delightfully unhinged replies, these 10 answers deserve a spot in your notes app.

1. “It’s a subscription service.”

Why give away premium content for free? If they want access to the smile on your face, they can start by upgrading to the paid version.

2. “My face is on energy-saving mode.”

Social battery low. Facial battery even lower. You’re simply conserving energy until further notice.

3. “I’m saving it for a special occasion.”

Finding $50 on the floor? Sure. Your food arriving early? Absolutely. Being told to smile by a random person? Nice try.

4. “I left my smile at home today.”

You remembered your wallet, your keys and your phone, but somehow the smile didn’t make it out the door. Maybe tomorrow.

5. “Sorry, I charge for that.”

Smiles are no longer complimentary. Think of it as premium customer service with surge pricing.

6. “It’s loading.”

The trick is to say it while keeping the exact same expression. Extra points if you pause dramatically, like your face is buffering on weak WiFi.

7. “Not in this economy.”

Grab is expensive. Eggs are expensive. Existing is expensive. A smile on your face just isn’t in the budget today.

8. “My Botox is still healing.”

True or not, that’s only for you to know. The confused look on their face is usually worth the throwaway comment.

9. “Sorry, it’s against my religion.”

Commit to the bit. Say it with complete confidence and innocence, don’t explain yourself and leave them wondering for the rest of the day.

10. “Say something funny first.”

If they’re so invested in seeing you smile, the least they can do is earn it. Ball’s in their court now.

Of course, you never owe anyone a response, let alone a smile. But if you do feel like replying, hopefully one of these will give them something to think about. Or at least leave you with the last laugh.