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Following the demise of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s marriage just a day after their 10th anniversary, we couldn’t help but wonder if Hollywood happily ever afters are a dream that’ll never come true. But a closer look at other marriages including Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick proved otherwise.

With more than 10 years in each of their marriages, here’s why they’re still together: 

1. Be each other’s lover and best friend.
One of Hollywood’s longest-married celebrity couples, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson, who have been together for 27 years and counting, credits wanting to be married, and being each other’s lover and best friend in their marriage. When quizzed about the secret to their lasting relationship, Rita admitted to Hollyscoop that “it’s very important to [want to be married]. You got to want to be married to the person you’re married to.” 

In a separate interview with popular TV personality and host Oprah, Tom said in addition to being his lover, Rita is his best friend, and that they “laugh just as much now… as we always have. And we fight less and less.” Working on the relationship is important too: “I won’t deny that providence was part of us finding each other, but our relationship isn’t magic. In real life… we both know that no matter what, we’ll be with each other—and we’ll get through it.”

2. Give each other space
Singer-designer-actress Gwen Stefani said in an interview to Jason Kennedy on the Today show, that she and husband of 13 years, Gavin Rossdale, both want to be married and want to be good parents (to their three children). She added in a separate interview with Cosmopolitan magazine that their successful marriage comes from giving each other the space they need, and little romantic touches really do help. 

“We go through so much together—it’s a miracle that we could stay together this long,” the Voice coach and “Settle Down” singer tells the magazine. “[Gavin’s] on a short tour right now, and he wrote me the sweetest note this morning. It’s good to have those days when we both do our own things. I think that’s what keeps relationships going, when both people can be themselves and have their own individuality.”

3. Keep the communication going
After being together for 18 years, we’re curious to see how Hollywood actors Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick keep the spark alive. The secret, Broderick revealed in an interview to E! Online’s Meredith Vieira, is to “keep talking… Too much silence is definitely not a good idea… She’s really funny, she makes me laugh. That’s good. I wish I had a better answer.”

In a separate interview with Harper’s Bazaar, Parker gushed about her husband and their life: “I love Matthew Broderick. Call me crazy, but I love him,” she shared. “We’re very devoted to our family and our lives. I love our life. I love that he’s the father of my children, and it’s because of him that there’s this whole other world that I love.”

4. Children and mutual respect
Despite divorce rumours and cheating scandals, David and Victoria Beckham are still going strong. The high-profile couple, who celebrated 17 years of marriage, credit their happy union to their four children, having each other’s backs, and Victoria’s legs.

According to David in an interview with OK! Magazine, the English footballer says, “… having our children around takes all the pressure away. Either of us could have had the worst day at work, but it doesn’t matter because then you come home and see your sons smiling.” He added that there are pressures on the couple, but “we’ve had that since we first started going out, so we got used to it over the years. We have a way of working through it by looking out for each other.”

Victoria revealed that the distance between the couple at times makes the heart grow fonder, and “helps keep the marriage fresh”, according to an interview with OK! Magazine

5. Work on it
Former Buffy actress Sarah Michelle Gellar and She’s All That’s Freddie Prinze Jr have been married for 13 years, and are still going strong. When asked for marital advice though, Gellar, who was interviewed by Wonderwall said “if I knew, I would write a book and retire”.

The actress added that working on their marriage was important. “You have to work at anything. It’s any relationship in your life. You have to nurture it and take time with it,” she says.