5 ways to survive wedding planning stress

In the course of planning a wedding, a bride makes a thousand a one decisions, so it's wise to not obsess about every detail. Instead, adopt coping strategies and avoid bridal burnout. Handle what you can, let go of what you can't, and never look back.

1. FACE THE FACTS
Tracy and Lee wanted to get married within the year, so there was little planning time - and plenty of stress for Tracy. She said: "But instead of feeling anxious, I immediately started making appointments. Once we had the basics cleared, I felt less stressed."

Tracy beat bridal burnout by meeting stress head-on and not letting it wear her down. Plus, she had the advantage of that strong engagement buzz. (You know how that feels!) She was fresh and energetic, so making big decisions wasn't overwhelming.

2. LET IT OUT
Laura started out like Tracy. The date, venue, even the gown were set early on. Her meltdown came later. "I totally freaked out with the invitations," Laura said. We DIY-ed them and my first stab wasn't that good. So I broke down and cried for some time. It actually helped me feel calmer after."

Need to cry? Go ahead. You'll feel better after the emotions run out and you'll be more level-headed for the important decisions. Laura suggests two other burnout beaters: "Call your girlfriends - I really relied on mine to let me vent. And take a break in the planning. It can be a nightmare if you never take a step back from it."

3. ACCEPT IT ALL
Some women have a talent for making the best of a bad situation. If something bad really happens, and you feel totally mortified, keep smiling - your guests will smile with you, not at you.

4. COPING STRATEGIES
A sense of humour wasn't enough for Cathy though. Her mother had earlier promised cash-help for the wedding but the money wasn't showing. Their new apartment was ready and needed sorting out. "Cheong and I really needed every bit of help. I felt that if I had to make one more phone call to the hotel or the florist, I would scream," she said.

Cathy adopted coping strategies. "I set up a time when Cheong and I could talk to my mum. I cried on his chest. I went to the gym. More importantly, I realised that when the wedding was over, Cheong and I would be married. That's what counts."

5. SUPPORT SYSTEM
Cathy relied on Cheong for emotional support. She said, "He'd let me yell at him. He knew that if he let me vent, I'd get over it. He also planned the honeymoon, gave me chocolate. He was perfect - the man I fell in love with."

Sometimes the best burnout beater is your groom. Guys often manage to maintain an emotional distance from wedding plans, which helps them help you approach things more calmly. Let him be your sounding board. Delegate responsibilities to him. And grab him for a hug and a cuddle now and then.

As you work your way toward that magical day when you'll be the centre of attention (yikes!), and that freaked-out feeling starts once again, keep your pre-wedding cool.

Remember, most brides rank their wedding day as one of the happiest in their life. Bye-bye burnout!

This article was first published in Her World Brides Dec 2002 - Feb 2003.