5 tips on planning your wedding timeline

1. How can I ensure the first dance, toasts, cake cutting and other activities proceed in a timely manner? Are there guidelines for the scheduling of these activities?
It depends on how long your reception is. A reception that lasts four hours or more offers a longer time span to schedule things at a more leisurely pace so everyone present won't feel so rushed. 

Once you have mapped out exactly what you and your groom would like to do at your celebration, notify your maitre'd, DJ and other wedding pros about your preferred activities and the times they should occur. Keep in mind that your wedding consultant (if you have one) can assist with the planning and pacing too.

Here's a basic rundown of scheduled events for a four-hour reception including an hour for cocktails.

Hour 1 (cocktails): The bride, groom, attendants and family pose for wedding pictures and mingle with guests. Cocktails and hors d'oeuvres are served.

Hour 2: Guests take their seats. The couple makes their entrance and heads for the stage for the champagne toast, cake cutting and speeches. The first course is served after this. Note that each course usually takes up about half an hour, including serving time. Some venues try to do so within 20 minutes.

Hour 3: The bride and groom may enjoy their first dance after the second course, followed by a dance with their respective parents. While guests start on the fourth course, the couple may exit for their change of clothes.

Hour 4: By the time they come in, the fifth course may already be served. Between the fifth and seventh courses, the couple can do their rounds among the tables. They should be back at their own table for the eigth course, just in time to eat a little more before they have to be at the entrance to send off their guests. Whatever you decide, plan your party in a way that's most comfortable for you, your groom and your guests.

2. I have an early afternoon solemnisation due to lack of slots with the dinner reception at night; the few hours' gap in between is for my tea ceremony. What can our guests from abroad do during that gap?
There's little worry if it's just three or four hours. Some guests may want to use it to rest at the hotel's poolside or just chill over some drinks. You can invite them to your tea ceremony, but give them the option to do their thing too if they prefer. 

3. What is a rehearsal dinner and who's involved?
Traditionally, a rehearsal dinner is a Western pre-wedding custom held after the wedding rehearsal and on the night before the wedding ceremony. The purpose is for important members of your families to meet and enjoy a get-together; and also for you to thank all who have helped with your wedding. Some couples may also present gifts to their helpers at this dinner. The people involved would be yourselves, parents, the bridal party, and/or guests whom you feel are important for you. 

4. Do we need to have a wedding rehearsal? What do we do during the rehearsal?
Yes, any dry run before an important event is always good, but do note that wedding rehearsals usually apply to the religious ceremony or solemnisation, and not the reception. 

Check with your church or solemnisation venue if you'd need to book in advance, as well as other required etiquette. Gather your bridal party and parents at the location on the appointed day. Prepare your aisle music and remind everyone about their roles on the big day. Sort out the spots where everyone should be standing, sitting or walking down the aisle, etc.

Start the music and walk down the aisle as you would on the big day. Your day-of coordinator/wedding planner/friend should help cue you on when you start walking, and when your aisle music should fade out. Whoever's helping you play the music on the big day should be aware of these points.

You and your groom can also practise who says what during the solemnisation. Use paraphrases or summaries if you don't want to say your actual vows during the rehearsal.

5. Who makes speeches at a wedding and in what order?
Traditionally, the father of the bride speaks first, followed by the groom, then the best man. Personally, we think it's modern and nice if the bride makes a speech too, just after her groom's. All speakers should remember to keep the speech short, sincere and sweet. 

This article was first published in Her World Brides September - November 2011.
Got any other wedding planning questions? Drop us a mail at tfelicia@sph.com.sg