My Life Abroad: I decided to reject the "Singaporean Dream" and move to Tokyo

Building a social circle from scratch

Credit: Rachel

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This is not unique to Tokyo but some people might think that by moving abroad, your life automatically becomes more exciting and you will be happier than you were in Singapore (or wherever else you came from).

It always takes time and effort to build a solid social circle when you first move somewhere, and making friends as an adult anywhere is never easy. You can get by knowing only basic Japanese but if your language skills are not great, it’ll be hard to build meaningful friendships with locals. There can be many days, weeks, or months of loneliness, so I think it’s important to be comfortable in your own company, or be proactive in taking up new hobbies or joining meetups to get to know new people.

I came knowing no one, and made almost all of my friends through work! I’m lucky because the company I worked for has a good mix of foreign and local employees with many close in age to me, so it was easy for us to get along. It helped that I had many foreign colleagues because they usually have smaller social circles than locals, and are more willing to hang out outside of work. Japanese people are busy — meeting Japanese friends usually requires scheduling weeks in advance!

Adapting to the work culture

Credit: Rachel

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I worked 9 to 5.30, five days a week, and from home four days a week. Like in other parts of the world, hybrid work arrangements became more common here since the COVID-19 pandemic.

I’ve only worked in one Japanese company so I can’t speak for all, but I never really had to attend any mandatory after-work nomikai (drinking parties) that Japan is known for. There are managers who adhere to the traditional Japanese work culture, which prizes extreme dedication to your work. This means you have to work a lot of overtime if you want to look good. Fortunately, not all managers are the same, and my colleagues were mostly kind, friendly, and hardworking.

A weekend in my life

Credit: Nachi-no-Otaki is Japan's tallest waterfall. Image Credit: Rachel

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If I’m spending the weekend in Tokyo city, I would usually spend an afternoon walking around my favourite neighbourhoods, or exploring new ones. I frequent Shimokitazawa often  — not just because it’s near where I live but because it’s a super cool vintage and thrift store mecca with a thriving live house and indie cinema scene.

Tokyo may be the birthplace of Uniqlo, Don Quijote, and Muji which have taken over Singapore’s malls, but it has lots of little quirky shops and cafes everywhere too. They are always fun to check out.

The city is a sprawling concrete jungle, yet it’s surprisingly close to nature. Trains can take you from skyscrapers to mountains, paddy fields, and hot springs in the neighbouring prefectures within two to three hours, so I sometimes take day trips or weekend trips to hike and explore.

During springtime, I might travel to see the cherry blossoms in Saitama or Kawazu; during the summer, I’d head to nearby islands or coastal cities like Enoshima and Shimoda; during autumn, I’d visit Lake Kawaguchi to see the autumn leaves; during winter, I’d snowboard in Gunma, Nagano, or Niigata. Just a weekend ago I visited rural Saitama to help out at a friend’s yuzu farm.

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I cycled around Lake Kawaguchiko with Mt. Fuji in sight.

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I’ve had a lot more experiences like canoeing in Iriomote Island, which I wouldn’t have had if I had stayed in Singapore, but fundamentally I don’t think I have changed very much as a person

A life beyond the Singapore dream

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Being away from loved ones in Singapore for two years and five months because of the pandemic, I didn’t really get homesick thanks to frequent video calls and texts with the people I love back in Singapore. But now that things are mostly back to normal and borders are open again, I intend to travel home at least once a year.

I really like living in Japan, but there are still other places I want to be and my parents back in Singapore are also not getting any younger. Right now, I want to travel and experience work life in different countries while I can.

I love Singapore, but moving away has made me realise that the world has a lot to offer, and that there are so many alternatives to the “climb the career ladder, settle down, and buy a BTO” Singapore dream. I worked a regular 9–5 job in Tokyo, but the idea of living in the countryside and being a farmer always appealed to me at the back of my mind, and I know I could probably make it happen in Japan if I really wanted to.

That’s not to say you can’t take the paths less travelled in Singapore, but it was only after I left that my eyes opened to these other paths, and taking them actually felt feasible.