Tackle Sexual Harassment at the Office

Flirty workplace banter can be fun. But how can you tell for sure when a man has crossed the line? We help you decode, and defuse, three murky situations.

The overly friendly boss

He creates opportunities to spend time with you: Lunch, coffee breaks and even dinner after hours. Compliments can be expected each time you wear a new outfit, but come without fail if you wear a slightly lower-cut blouse. Lately, he has been thanking you for a job well done by hugging you affectionately or planting a light kiss on your cheek.

Warning bells: If your boss is affectionate to everyone in an open working environment, you may be overreacting. But it could be cause for concern if he asks you out socially every day. It is clearly inappropriate if “he starts looking down your cleavage, brushing against your body regularly – and you’re certain it’s not accidental – or making lewd comments”, advises Shashi Nathan, head of criminal practice at Harry Elias Partnership. Keep track of his actions and comments. If you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to prevent recurrences.

Get out of it: Make it difficult for him to ask you out or touch you. “Have your colleagues around you as often as possible,” says Estelle Wong, an area manager at Adecco Personnel, a leading HR solutions company. “More importantly, carry yourself professionally, being mindful of your dressing and body language.” If you find yourself alone with him in his office and inappropriate body contact occurs, take this opportunity to “have an honest chat with him about his actions and explain politely why you feel uncomfortable”.

The client who wants more

Maintaining good relations between a client and your company is your job. But now, he wants you to deliver documents to his home, not the office. You know that entertaining after hours is sometimes needed to clinch the deal, but he frequently stages the discussions at karaoke lounges.

Warning bells: “Be on guard if he wishes to meet at unusual places or his home,” says Estelle. “If he asks you out too frequently, that’s another sign,” says David Ang, executive director of the Singapore Human Resources Institute. And leering at you is a big no-no.

Get out of it: Make smart choices. Estelle says: “Use a courier service to send documents to his place instead.” When it comes to karaoke invitations, suggests David, “decline the invitations politely but if you can’t avoid it, bring a colleague along”. And if you feel overwhelmed, it’s time to “seek advice from your boss or more experienced colleagues on how to deal with these situations”.

The customer who keeps coming back

You see him over, and over, and over again. On his repeat visits, he begins to lean over the counter, chatting with you about everything except about work. He starts to compliment you on your sweet smile and your dressing, calling you his “favourite”.

Warning bells: Trouble could arise if the conversation veers from work to personal matters. Or when comments on your dressing and appearance get sexual.

Get out of it: Being friendly and helpful is part of your job but “requests to speak on personal matters should be politely declined”, says Estelle. You might say “there’s another colleague who has better product knowledge and will be in a better position to help”. Adds David: “Or go directly to your supervisor and let him advise you.”

So when is it sexual harassment?

The bottom line is: If you feel uncomfortable about his actions, politely say so. If he persists, he does so without your consent and you have reason to complain. The sooner you report him, the better: It gives you more credibility.

There is no specific legislation that covers sexual harassment at the workplace and no hard and fast rules to handling it. Shashi’s advice is to “always go to your HR department first”, as it’s better to settle things internally. But go straight to the police if he touches your private parts, comments on the size of your breasts or makes any other lewd remarks. He can be punished under the Penal Code.