“Hey Larry Yeo, you’re not making me moist enough … it’s the dewy look I’m going for.” #SG50ShadesOfGrey
We may be small, but we aim to please.
Yup, Singaporeans are a bunch of secret smut addicts – that, and we write the best erotica, ever. Want proof of our prowess with the pen? #SG50ShadesOfGrey is the only hashtag you need.
“Quickie” explainer for those not in the know: Said hashtag is the lovechild of that infamous OL (office lady) porn novel-turned-movie and the “hard” sell SG50 nation-wide campaign that’s basically been uh, rammed down our throats the past few months.
And really, #SG50ShadesOfGrey is the perfect combo meal of procreation and patriotism (incidentally also two of the issues our beloved government is perennially obsessed with.)
Indeed, as my colleague put it via a series of sustained screams from across our cubicle wall, it’s trending “like siao” right this very instant.
Not convinced, I excused myself to the bathroom, whipped out my smartphone … and was immediately inundated with scores of suggestive tweets “poking” fun at all sorts of obscure #SG stuff, from MRT and ERP gantries to local foodie faves like Paddlepop, Hokkien mee and belachan. (We do like to uh, stuff ourselves, it seems!)
But don’t take my word for it. See for yourself why #SG50ShadesOfGrey is such a stiff contender for #BestHashTagEver – and guys out there, keep it coming (and coming), please!
Her legs shook as waves of pleasure rocked her body. Then the salesman asked,”Auntie, you buying this Osim chair or not?” #SG50ShadesOfGrey
— Ervin Han (@ErvinHan) February 14, 2015
As I shook it harder and faster, white fluid came bursting out of the tip. I should have stuck to correction tape. #SG50ShadesofGrey
— Shivaanan (@Shivaanan) February 14, 2015
— missbossy (@missbossy) February 17, 2015
She let her lips slide up and down, tongue firmly against the stiffness. Wah, damn long never eat Paddlepop liao sia. #sg50shadesofgrey
— XiaoGuang (@MsKitxy) February 17, 2015
I ran my fingers against the forbidden bush. I was ready to deflower it. Security kicked me out of Gardens by the Bay. #SG50ShadesOfGrey
— Thomas (@dontkmethx) February 17, 2015
“Give it to me now” she pleaded. “Give it all to me!” But I only had 2 NTUC vouchers left. #SG50ShadesOfGrey
— ✪ Gogo Stark ✪ (@StarkLatte) February 17, 2015