I’ve got a strong vaginal scent – a musky odour that my husband can smell even before we start foreplay. Should I be concerned?
Clinical sexologist Martha Lee from Eros Coaching says there’s nothing to worry about – it’s normal to smell musky down there. However, Dr Christopher Chong, an obstetrician and gynaecologist from Gleneagles Hospital, says you should see a gynaecologist to exclude a lower genital tract infection, which is common in women – the vagina and vulva can be exposed to bacteria, fungi and even parasites. Some symptoms include excessive vaginal discharge, abdominal pain, and even bleeding. Dr Chong adds that it’s common to get such an infection once a year, although most women are none the wiser. “They mistake the bleeding for menstrual blood,” he says. He suggests using a small amount of scented spray (which can be prescribed by your doctor) to mask the smell if you really have to. But make sure not to spray inside your vagina. And keep the area dry so as not to cause irritation.

I want to taste great down south, so my husband will enjoy oral sex more. Is there anything I should eat or drink?
Martha believes eating more fruits and vegetables can help with the taste of semen and vaginal secretions. “Try pineapples, kiwis and bananas to make your secretions more alkaline and sweeter. Celery may work, too,” she adds. Dr Chong advises that eating yogurt and probiotics, in addition to using vaginal gels, can make the vagina less acidic.

My husband thrusts really hard during sex, especially when he is near climax. Is he injuring my vagina?
He may be. If you’re not well- lubricated, you may suffer tears or abrasions. But you may not know it, unless there is bleeding and pain. “The cervix and the back of your vagina are not as sensitive as your vulva, so you may not feel any pain despite having tears,” explains Dr Chong.

“The key here is to indulge in a lot of foreplay, so the vagina can secrete more fluids, preventing unnecessary friction.” Martha adds that your husband may be hitting against your cervix, especially if you feel pain. “The vagina is about 13cm deep, so this could happen if he is very long. Make sure you’re sufficiently aroused so that your vagina dilates to its optimal length, and ask your husband to slow down if it becomes too uncomfortable,” she says.

I have never orgasmed. I think it’s because I have a very small clitoris. When I first got married, my husband had problems just finding it. What can I do?
“Your ability to experience an orgasm has nothing to do with the size of your clitoris,” says Martha. “In order to learn how to have one, you need to learn about your sexual anatomy, get comfortable with it, and find out how the clitoris is more than just an on-off button.”

Dr Chong agrees, saying that an orgasm need not come from just clitoral stimulation. “Inner vulval or vaginal stimulation can also lead to orgasms. Another important sexual organ is the brain – indulge in fantasies during sex to help you achieve climax,” he says.

I’m 48 years old and my pubic hair is going grey. Is it safe to dye it?
“Greying in the pubic area is not uncommon,” says Dr Chong. “There’s no harm in dyeing your pubic hair, although you have to be careful as the vulva and vagina are vulnerable to infection. You could also have small, unnoticeable abrasions from intercourse. If the dye enters open wounds and into the bloodstream, it can cause damage to organs.”

Every time my husband and I have sex, my vagina makes a squishing sound. Is this because I’m too wet?
Dr Chong says excessive vaginal wetness can cause such sounds, along with air pockets caused by a too-small penis or a too-big vagina. You may have a wider or deeper vagina, due to pregnancy or ageing. An ultrasound or a physical examination by a gynaecologist can confirm this; surgical stitching can solve the problem.

Martha adds that it could also be vaginal flatulence, or queefing, when air is expelled from the vagina during or after sex, stretching or exercise. It sounds like you’re breaking wind, but it doesn’t involve waste gases so there’s no smell. “It has nothing to do with being too wet,” she says.

My husband has a tiny penis – I hardly feel anything when we make love. What sexual positions are best for us, as missionary and doggie don’t turn me on at all?
You can try a variation of the missionary position, where he brings the base of his penis up against your clitoris, says Martha, so he is rubbing against your pubic bone.

Martha adds that the size of the penis is not central to a woman’s sexual satisfaction. “Whatever works, feels good, and makes you feel more alive and connected to your partner is what counts,” she points out.

This article was originally published in SImply Her May 2012.