I’ve always been quite traditional when it comes to dating and I can’t go out with someone indefinitely without knowing if we’re exclusive or not. Don’t get me wrong. Things don’t have to be crystal clear from the very first date. I’m well aware that it takes time for two people to get to know each other better. But eventually, it’s only fair for both sides to know where the relationship is heading. Otherwise, why bother investing time in it?
I think people who let ambiguous relationships drag on are commitment phobes. I have no tolerance for wishy-washiness. Is it that difficult to decide if you like someone? I can tell whether I have chemistry with someone or not from the first two or three dates. It’s all about trusting your gut.
You see, going exclusive doesn’t mean you’re putting yourself on a path to spending a lifetime together. It just means you have a good feeling about this person and you want to give it your best shot.
My friend, P, feels differently though. She says it’s more important to know what you mean to each other than to actually have a clearly defined "boyfriend-girlfriend" status. It doesn’t matter to her if a guy she’s dating brings up commitment. I wouldn’t go for more than a month that way.
But my other friend, M, agrees with me. She’s all for having a clear status because it avoids misunderstandings and expectations.
I look at things from a straightforward perspective. If I’m really into someone, I’d naturally want to take things to the next level. I’d be bursting with excitement to tell my friends and my family about him. If I’m apprehensive, then I’m probably not that into him in the first place.
That’s my stand on relationship labels and thankfully, I’ve been lucky that most of the men I’ve seriously dated have been as decisive and frank as me when it comes to matters of the heart.
