Myth 1: Men want women to moan like porn stars
Moaning is great. As long as it sounds sexy, not like you’re having a heart attack or trying to conquer your constipation, it tells a guy he’s doing something right – and that hopefully, you’re enjoying what we’re doing together. And no, you don’t have to make like a DDD-cup starlet.
Myth 2: He craves sex 24/7
Actually, it’s pubescent boys who can’t get it off their minds. It’s the raging hormones. When a guy matures, he becomes more discerning. And there are other forms of recreation, like video games or the World Cup finals. Of course, he might burn for some victory sex or consolation cuddling afterwards. But he knows that sex, like all things, is best enjoyed in reasonable doses.
Myth 3: Guys just zero in on what’s down there
Sorry, we’re way past the caveman stage. Yes, that’s the goal, but even when we’re hot and ready, we know that heading straight for the end zone bypasses all the fun things in between. It’s the appetisers that make the main sweeter.
Myth 4: Men will do it anywhere
Anywhere? He’d have to be nuts or a sex addict – or both. Not many guys I know would even do it bare-assed on a beach, romantic or not. As Anakin Skywalker says in Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones: “I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.” Including there. Now, making out in a tricky hammock under a tree in a lush garden as the sun sets – that’s cool and kinky.
Myth 5: Talking dirty is always a plus
Please stop telling us to do it harder, faster. If we could, we would – but we probably can’t, for whatever reason. So should we apologise?
Myth 6: Sweaty sex is good sex
A wise man once said that the air-conditioner is one of mankind’s greatest inventions – and apparently, it has improved our sex lives, too. According to American scientist Stan Cox, author of Losing Our Cool: Uncomfortable Truths About Our Air-Conditioned World, the air-con has changed the pattern of sexual activity in the world.
Before it, there was a dip in conceptions from mid- to late-summer. After its introduction, the birth graph evened out throughout the year. I’m sure some guys find slimy bodies slithering against each other in animalistic passion hot. I don’t because sweat usually means BO. But if both of you get off on steam and stink, then I say go for it.
Myth 7: More tongue is always better
Tongue is nice. The cavewoman who discovered that the tongue has uses other than as an eating aid must have been a huge hit with her tribe’s hunters. Most women have probably experienced the grossness of too much tongue during a kiss with an inexperienced or grabby man. But it works the other way, too, and not just with mouth kissing. There’s flirty flicking and there is “Why on earth is she licking my armpits?”.
Myth 8: Men have only one erogenous zone
Believe me, every man’s e-zone does not revolve around his crotch. Me, for instance. I go ape when she nuzzles and kisses the nape of my neck. But what I find sexy, your man may not. You just have to find out.
This story was originally published in the August 2012 issue of Her World.