So you’ve chosen a flattering (and hopefully minimally edited) profile photo and written a Pulitzer prize-worthy bio that’s a Goldilocks mix of witty, sexy and mysterious. What next? Here are seven tips that’ll help you progress from an online match to a real-life date (and then some).
Make a Move
Don’t be shy to reach out – there’s absolutely no shame in making the first move. Everyone is on an online dating app for a reason, so you won’t come across as desperate (if that’s your fear). If you like how someone looks, start a conversation and see how it goes from there.
You want to see if this guy is more than just a pretty face, so get to know him as a person before deciding to take it further. Ask questions about his friends and his interests – basically everything you’d need in order to gauge if he’s worth your time. But don’t get too personal – no questions about say, religion or his mother – or you might very well scare him off.
Arrogance is one of the biggest turn-offs in the online dating world (there isn’t a female equivalent of a ‘douchebag’, but someone should really coin a phrase for that particular sort of woman). Sure, you might have achieved a lot in your life, but there’s no need to brag about your extensive Cartier collection to a complete stranger. You’ll also seem self-obsessed and narcissistic, which is really not sexy at all.
If he has mentioned specific interests in his bio, ask him about them. Pick up on what he says in your texts, and then follow up with more questions in the same vein. It shows that you’re paying attention and that you have a genuine interest in his life, instead of seeing him as just another piece of meat for the taking.
Keep It Light
Don’t start discussing politics or world events, no matter how deeply you feel about certain hot-button issues. Keep the tone light and fun (at least in the beginning) so you don’t come across as a self-righteous zealot who’s just waiting for her next ‘victim’ with whom to moan about the problems plaguing the world right now.
Don’t keep asking how his day was or, worse still, get too sexual too fast. Think of quirky topics to chat about so you come across as ‘different’. Don’t send rambling long-winded messages; keep them short and sweet and reserve the real conversations for your face-to-face meet-up.
Know When to Stop
If he hasn’t replied in a few hours, don’t bombard him with messages asking if he’s alright. Here’s a tough truth: If he stops replying after a few days, leave it and move on – there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Good luck!