So your friend’s guy is always hitting on you and it’s making you feel very uncomfortable. He might just be an incorrigible flirt or it could be something more. Don’t just be a wallflower and take what he throws at you; here are six things you can do in this situation.

Singapore women dating relationship advice friend’s boyfriend flirts with you DECOR

Before you react, be sure that he’s actually flirting with you. It’s possible that he’s just a really friendly guy and you could be reading too much into it. Does he behave this way only around you or is he the same with every woman? Does it happen when others are around or only in situations when you’re alone? And is he always like this or only overly friendly after he’s had a few drinks? If he’s behaving this way just with you, when you’re alone, and does it when he’s stone-cold sober, there’s a high chance he’s hitting on you. If you’re still not sure, ask other friends for their opinion.

As soon as you know he’s flirting with you, tell him to stop. And don’t be vague about it either, be firm with him. If he’s touching your hand while chatting or telling you how hot you look in that dress, tell him to stop doing it, full stop. Let him know that this is unacceptable behaviour and that you will not stand for it. This should get him to put the brakes on his flirty behaviour.

You might be encouraging his flirting without even knowing it. Take note of how you are around him and don’t respond positively when he hits on you. If you show that you are somehow enjoying the attention from him, he might take it the wrong way and be encouraged to flirt with you more. Your friend shouldn’t be with a man who flirts with her friends and she certainly doesn’t deserve a friend who flirts back with her boyfriend either.

If it gets too awkward to be in the same room as him, keep your distance from the couple as much as you can. Or if you’re really close friends with his girl and can’t avoid them, make sure you’re never alone with him. This way, he doesn’t have the opportunity to hit on you and, when you limit your interaction with him, it makes you a lot less distressed too.

The most difficult bit is deciding whether or not you should tell your friend about it. Unfortunately, most women wouldn’t want to believe that their man is capable of doing such a thing and it’s possible that you’ll end up losing her as a friend – or she’ll just be very pissed off with you. If you know her very well, put yourself in her shoes and think about whether she’d want to know, then decide if you should tell her. However, if it comes to the point where he makes you really uncomfortable, tell her as soon as possible; if she’s really a good friend, she’ll see how agonised you are and take heed of the situation.

While it’s normal to not want to upset your friend or her boyfriend, the most important thing here is protecting yourself. So don’t smile and go along with it just to ‘save face’ and not embarrass anyone. If a man is acting inappropriately with you, he has to be told and it’s best that his girlfriend knows about his behaviour too. Even if it hurts your friendship in the end, know that it was worth it, to keep your reputation and dignity intact.

Want some more dating advice? Read our stories When is it okay to date your friend’s ex?; Here’s what to do if your boyfriend hates your friends and Why were there record high divorces in Singapore in 2015?

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