Thanks to Covid, we’ve spent the last year or so spending more time at home than ever. By now, you’d be well acquainted with every nook and cranny of your house, every top-rated Netflix show, and perhaps even uncovered new domestic talents you didn’t know you had (sourdough bread and brownie chefs, anyone?). We hope the same applies to the discovery of your body, too.
After all, we can say with confidence that sex frequency rose to an all-time high during the circuit breaker, whether you’re single or in a relationship (what more is there left to do at home, right?). Plus, the spike in celeb pregnancy announcements seems to be a testament to that.
But just because we’ve levelled up our sex routines – be it in terms of frequency or type of activities – it doesn’t mean we’ll go on to have 100 per cent fulfilling sex for the rest of our lives. When it comes to sex, sexuality and pleasure, there’s a whole new world of knowledge out there waiting to be tapped on.
We’re talking about sex-positive courses and workshops.
The term “sex-positive” embodies the idea that sex can be a positive thing in a person’s life and that everybody has the freedom, space and right to explore (and express) their sexuality without judgement or shame.
While sex education workshops aim to educate on topics like human sexual anatomy, sexual activity, safe sex, reproductive health and birth control, sex-positive workshops are designed to teach us how to communicate our sex and intimacy needs, as well as make informed choices about our bodies and pleasure.
At a sex-positive workshop, for instance, you will learn that it’s not unusual to have never experienced an orgasm with your partner before, and that it’s not abnormal to have no idea how to masturbate. You will also discover that it’s perfectly acceptable for women to be horny all the time (*no judgement*), and might even uncover non-traditional secrets to sexual pleasure from other cultures, like Tantra and yoni eggs.
Sex-positive workshops are for everyone
Anyone who wants to understand their body, emotions and sexuality better, enjoy a more satisfying sex life or feel more sexually empowered will benefit from attending a sex-positive workshop.
Yes, you could turn to educational books and online resources, but the big benefit from attending sex-positive workshops lies in the interactive element – attendees may be guided to do certain breathing or pelvic floor exercises, for example. Plus, workshops encourage conversation and discussion amongst participants, providing you a safe and controlled environment to discuss issues you may find hard to broach in your day-to-day life.
Here, we’ve singled out various sex-positive workshops that will lead you to achieve greater heights – from self-pleasure to oral sex.
Sex-positive workshops to try
You want to: Master the art of self-pleasure
Single or not, it’s important to know what turns you on sexually and how to stimulate different parts of your body to give yourself pleasure. Masturbation is a safe and healthy way to relax and soothe yourself, channel your sexual energy and experience satisfying orgasms. When incorporated into foreplay with a partner, it can be incredibly erotic and also help boost the emotional intimacy in your relationship.
Try: Finishing School by Vanessa Marin Therapy
California-based sex therapist and psychotherapist Vanessa Marin created Finishing School, a step-by-step programme featuring easy-to-follow techniques to help you achieve orgasm through masturbation and other methods of self-stimulation.
The programme runs for 10 weeks. Each week, Vanessa covers something new and different. For instance, in Week 1 she explains what an orgasm is and how it works (can you have a blended orgasm, and is there such a thing as a G-spot or a vaginal orgasm?); in Week 2, she tells you how to identify and overcome mental and physical “blockages” that might be preventing you from climaxing; in Week 4, she gives you the low-down on how to masturbate and stimulate yourself in order to experience powerful orgasms. You’ll also learn how to orgasm from your partner’s touch and through oral sex and intercourse, with exercises that you can do with your partner.
The course is conducted via video workshops, exercises and guided practices. These are delivered online and you can access them whenever and wherever you want, though probably not with your folks around.
Cost: US$649 for the whole course or four monthly payments of US$179
Find out more: https://vmtherapy.com/how-to-orgasm
You want to: Feel more sensual and sexually empowered
When we are in touch with our sensual side, we feel more confident about expressing ourselves sexually and are more likely to engage with our partner in an open and intimate way. How exactly do we connect with this side of ourselves? By taking time to self-reflect, looking for ways to be playful and spontaneous, tuning out our worries and stresses, and making pleasure a priority. These courses help you awaken and tap into your feminine energy.
Try: Sexual Empowerment Yoga by Sarah Rose Bright
Led by Sarah Rose Bright, a UK-based certified sex coach with more than a decade of experience, this six-week online course is described as akin to “yoga for your sexual wellbeing and soul”.
There are no yoga poses involved, though. At the core of the programme is the jade egg or yoni egg, which you insert into your vagina. In ancient Taoist philosophy, the jade egg was said to help with healing and strengthening the vulva and vagina and super-charging sexual pleasure.
Throughout the course, you will learn how to awaken your sexuality as well as activate and cultivate pleasure and desire using the jade egg. You will also be taught how to relax and soften “into” your body and look after your pelvic floor, which is an important muscle for sexual health and pleasure.
Cost: £245 per person; you have to purchase a jade egg separately
Find out more: https://www.sarahrosebright.co.uk/
Try: Tantra for Women by Martina Hughes
For more than a decade, Australia-based Love, Intimacy and Relationships mentor Martina Hughes has worked with thousands of people, helping them forge a deeper connection with themselves and experience love more powerfully.
Tantra is an ancient Eastern tradition, an instrument used to expand one’s level of consciousness with the ultimate goal of self-realisation. This course explores the concept in greater detail and teaches you how to apply it in your daily life and sexual experiences. You will also learn how to use it to unearth your sensuality and awaken your feminine energy.
There are four modules in all. Each includes video content, audio-guided meditations and practices, and worksheets for self-inquiry. When you finish one module you can move on to the next, so you can complete the course at your own pace.
Find out more: https://martinahughes.com/
You want to: Bring the intimacy back to your love life
After being together for a while, it’s easy to lose that sexual spark you once experienced with each other. Getting that connection back takes work. Sometimes, this involves healing past hurts, learning how to feel safe with your partner again, and deepening the bonds that held you so closely together when you first started dating. It might also mean looking for ways to have fun and relax together, learning to flirt with each other again, experimenting with different sex positions and brushing up on your communication skills.
Try: Tantra Level 3: Heart of Tantra Massage (For Couples) by Tantrapath
Led by Singapore-based Tantra meditation teacher Christina Nikolovski, this in-person workshop is conducted every two months at Space 2B at 2B Stanley St. During the six-hour-long workshop, you and your partner will learn the art of Tantra Massage, an energetic and healing bodywork that focuses on releasing sexual and energetic blockages, like fear, grief, anger, guilt, negative beliefs and traumatic memories. Once these are released, you will learn how to get in touch with your body, discover the peace and love in your heart, and open yourself up to each other.
The workshop is ideal for everyone, even if you have no prior knowledge of Tantra.
Cost: S$900 for two people
Find out more: https://space2b.sg/events/
Try: Roadmap To Intimacy by The Intimacy Institute
The Intimacy Institute is based in the United States and run by a husband and wife team: Daniel Lebowitz and Dr Jenni Skyler, licensed marriage therapists and certified sex therapists.
They designed their four-step Roadmap to Intimacy programme to give couples a clear path to deepen their relationship and connection. The course is based on a decade of clinical knowledge with hard-learned facts from their own marriage.
The four steps include Emotional Intimacy, Physical Intimacy, Sensual Intimacy and Sexual Intimacy, and the programme is delivered over five videos. By the end of the course, you and your partner will learn how to lay the groundwork for building safety and trust, increase your capacity to handle anxiety related to sex, diversify your ability to flirt and touch, and learn how to incorporate fantasy into your sex life as well as clear common blocks to sexual satisfaction.
Find out more: https://theintimacyinstitute.org/
You want to: Learn how to turn each other on
Knowing what gets each other going sexually is one of the keys to a fulfilling sex life. There are many ways to turn each other on – mutual masturbation, talking dirty during sex, showering together, massaging each other, and performing oral sex on each other. The latter is a skill that takes time and practice to perfect, but, done right, it can take your sexual pleasure and intimacy to new heights.
Try: Tongue Twisters by Eros Coaching
This course can help you take your oral skills to another level. Dr Martha Tara Lee, a clinical sexologist and founder of the Singapore-based Eros Coaching, will teach you how to create more intimacy with your partner using just your tongue.
(Read also “10 Tips For Giving Him The Best Blowjob Of His Life“)
The four instructional videos take you through a range of erotic, teasing and stimulating techniques you can use on your partner that will have him longing for more and send his pleasure through the roof. In addition, you will receive a detailed hand-out showing you each exercise you will be learning in the videos, along with corresponding instructions, plus suggestions on how and where to practise your techniques. The videos are easy to follow, fun and sometimes funny.
The course is online and self-paced, so you can watch the videos as and when you wish. You have a lifetime access to the videos and can watch them across all your devices, too.
Find out more: https://www.eroscoaching.com/2017/04/tongue-twisters/