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I dream for a time when we’re open about things that are natural

“I remember this one time during a stand-up gig, I was describing a sexual act onstage. It wasn’t a particularly dirty joke, but I did mention the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ a lot. It got some laughs, but it was a painful process. I got side-eyed by ladies in the crowd and I could see that some guys didn’t really want to laugh because their girlfriends were with them. The most interesting thing was that, after the show, I had guys and girls come up to me to tell me that the joke really connected with them. I get it – sex isn’t really something to shout about from the rooftops, but I also dream for a time when we’re open about things that are natural.

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“After all, pleasing a man is easy. It’s like walking into Ikea with an Alan key; ‘This works on everything!’ But it’s tough when a woman keeps us guessing. Don’t just act like it’s a Rubik’s cube, and say ‘Solve it!’ If you have ideas about what you want your man to do to you in bed, tell him! No man can be scared sexually. We were not made that way.” – Shaun Tupaz, 28

 

I believe in equality in the bedroom

“Singaporean slang is replete with vulgarities referencing genitalia. One of the most common has the same initials as China Construction Bank, and seems to indicate a stigma associated with women who don’t wash where the sun does not shine.

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“However, the fear of being called a smelly vagina only seems to increase the fear of the thing itself. (Accordingly, men who fall into this trap are often dubbed “pussies”.) That being said, some of my male friends do love going down on a woman. However, the majority of my male friends indicate that given a choice, they would still prefer to receive than to give, which is why I don’t invite them over during Chinese New Year. Personally, I believe in equality in the bedroom, so I would urge men to check with their partners about their preferences and give back accordingly. Just like the quote from the film Dead Poets Society, ‘Language was invented for one reason – to woo women – and in that endeavour, laziness will not do’. I highly recommend men not be selfish or lazy, and become the most cunning linguists they can be.” – Marc Lim, 28

 

I don’t think the physical structure of it matters to guys

“Truthfully, I don’t think it’s humanly possible to look at something and not judge it. But remember that it could be a positive judgment, just as much as it could be a negative one. But no matter what we think, we also don’t talk about what your vagina is or isn’t like when we are out with our bros. It’s my general experience that most guys, if they do kiss and tell, generally leave out the details.

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“When it comes to ourselves, we are happy if the equipment works fine and gets the job done. If we are insecure about anything, it’s probably the age-old issue of size. No one wants to know they are comparatively smaller, and society has done much to reinforce the fact that size equals manliness. When we look at girls, however, I don’t think the physical structure of it matters to guys. If we love you, we will make love to you, end of story.” – Ong Yu Cheng, 29

This story was originally published on www.cleo.com.sg.