Being single can be so exhausting. You have to continuously go out, meet new men and hope that they are the next decent one. You shove a load of energy into him only to find out he wasn’t worth it…then you have to climb back on the dating horse and start all over again. LONG. Yah, I know, I’ve been there.
But, it doesn’t have to be this way. We can make dating and single life the best damn years of our life. To put it bluntly, you have no other choice. You are single. You cannot acquire a relationship without dating first…ergo…whether you enjoy it or not, dating is what you have to do. And one of the first steps to dating is, of course, actually approaching men.
I’m not saying chivalry is dead or anything but, I do often wonder why so many modern females appear to own a bigger pair of balls than the men I encounter. Whilst it is true that the feminine approach should be to act like a prize and let our men approach us, men are often intimidated by women (especially successful ones) or they fear rejection and public humiliation so will not bother. Meh. This is lame and sooo 18th century.
Approaching a man is easier than you think and if you get confident in doing so, you’ll be increasing your chances of ending up with decent dates – it’s just basic law of averages! So, to aid this dating increase, here are some of my personal tips:
Smile before you’ve even made the decision to go over. If you clock each other’s glance and you’re smiling, he already feels warmth and good vibes from you. Plus, a smile can never be mistaken for something else; he will know that you are attracted to him because you’re smiling at a stranger. Usually, he will smile back, and that my lady friends is your green light. If he doesn’t smile back and turns his back on you…abort mission immediately.
2. Walk with Confidence
Once you’ve decided you’re going to approach your target (I mean potential man), don’t hover or tip toe – just walk directly up to him. Albeit alone or surrounded by his mates, your confidence will bowl him over and will intrigue him at least.
This is probably the scariest part and I assume that is why most women are hesitant to go over…because walking up to a complete stranger is daunting. I get it, but if you fake being confident then eventually, you will naturally become confident!
3. Go Alone
This is surely a given but, don’t drag some mates over with you. That is too intimidating and makes you look about 12 years old. You’re not riding into battle against an opposing War Lord – you’re just walking up to a fellow male human being. You can do it, I believe in you.
4. Introduce Yourself
This is crucial. Some girls start rambling on about something, or maybe pull out a chat up line, but he’ll feel so much more relaxed after he has learnt your name. Whilst you might be super nervous, just remember that if you make yourself familiar by offering your name immediately, he’ll feel and act warmer towards you in return.
5. Ignore Fear of Rejection
So the dude turns away, or walks off in a different direction, or politely says thanks but no thanks or loudly proclaims he has a girlfriend. So what? You’ve not lost anything, have you? You’ll never see him again and even if you do, just smile and carry on with whatever it was you’re doing prior to his existence.
I have had a guy literally turn his back on me before, which was weird considering I was just picking out the best of a bad bunch (the rest of the bar looked like they’d crawled out as extras from Lord of the Rings) but he clearly felt he was too good for me! Anyway, the point is, it doesn’t matter, does it? Like, who really cares?
6. First Impressions Count
I’m referring to your clothing. I am all for feeling comfortable and happy but, remember, if you want to approach someone for the first time, however you appear is how he will view you.
So, just ensure you look nice that’s all. Even in day wear or office attire, you can be casually hot. I’m not asking you to pop out to your corner shop in heels ‘just in case’ but, remember the initial presentation of ‘you’ will be printed onto his memory for the future. So imprint some hot piece of cute butt onto his mind.
7. Eye Contact
This is a must. Look that 6 pack with a head in the eye at all times. Eye contact makes you seem extremely self assured, happy and confident which are all attractive attributes for both sexes. Command the conversation with your body language.
8. Keep it Casual
Don’t delve into too much serious chat on the first meet. He doesn’t care that your parents split when you were 5 and this made it difficult for you to realise a dream of a long lasting marriage, or that your first pet died when you were a teenager and it threw you off your studies.
He also doesn’t care that when you were younger you often thought you’d become a Vet but can’t stand blood so then you wanted to be a dental nurse but hate teeth so now you’re in admin. You want to keep it light and casual, talking enough but not over the top. Allow him time to respond, and allow him space to command the conversation.
9. Keep it Brief
If you’ve approached him first, you’ve already done all the hard work. Now, you’ve got to allow him to take over. Keep the conversation brief, and be the one to walk away first. Basically, you want to waltz on over to him, offer your name along with your obvious wit and sexuality, then swiftly leave.
10. Number swapping
I’m personally a bolshy overly confident individual who offers my digits to beautiful men way too often; I suspect it is actually better to hold off and walk away, in the hopes he will ask for your number. However, I feel that if you offer your number and he takes it but never texts then… once again, no love lost. At least you’d know for sure.