Does texting ruin relationships and cheapen intimacy with your partner

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The ability to send instantaneous text messages is, without a doubt, one of the greatest forms of communication that the 21st century has gifted us. However, it’s also the bane of modern relationships for several reasons.

#1 Instant gratification

As text messages fly back and forth, they begin to chip away at the initial suspense and mystery. You begin to find out about everything, from what your partner is doing to what they’re thinking at any specific moment; no longer do you have to wait to be updated on every little thing. You take the opportunities to talk to your partner for granted, since you can now do it anytime. Gone are the days when lovers actually had to make the time to meet up or call each other on the phone.

#2 Expectations

“Why didn’t you text me back?
I sent you that message an hour ago!”

Sounds familiar? With immediate responses becoming the norm, any and every delay in your reply, along with every decision not to reply to a message at the exact moment that you receive it, is going to be misunderstood as you not caring or loving enough.

#3 Relationship fatigue

Having to constantly check in with your partner will tire you out. Needing personal space while having to text your partner throughout the day can eventually wear out your nerves and make you feel like you’re just going through some prescribed romantic routine that isn’t, after everything, all that romantic at all. Let’s not even get started on the boredom that will soon follow.

#4 Lack of romantic gestures

Remember when nothing expressed love better than a rendezvous in some place only the two of you knew about? Alas, texting has led to love being conveyed through a lame “ilu”. We can’t even spell these words out anymore! With us having grown accustomed to these ridiculously convenient methods of expressing affection, truly romantic gestures have ceased to exist. We just don’t know how to make an effort anymore.

#5 Thoughtlessness

The efficiency of texting means that you no longer really think your messages through before sending them. Fights then happen whenever you fire off those angry texts without really thinking through what you wanted to say. Not being able to see each other’s expressions makes things worse, since the detachment and the absence of any visible distress makes you less inclined to restrain yourself.

In short, get off your phone! Spend more time actually talking to your other half. It will make the moments together sweeter and more memorable. Learn to be patient again while making room for romance. One day, perhaps, instead of sending each other flower emojis, you’ll be sending each other real flowers instead.


This article was originally published on RomanceActually. RomanceActually is a blog for LunchActually, Singapore’s first female-centric dating app. Find out more at