From The Straits Times    |

We’ve all seen the type: jet setting executive, successful career woman, beautiful, and an overall wonderful catch. She’s single, in her 30s, yet does not see the need to worry about the void in her romantic life. Relying on third party help to find love is out of the question, she thinks. But oops, her biological clock is ticking away. So, what gives?

Many Singaporeans nowadays seem to be facing similar issues, in particular time-poor executives in their 30s. Yet they remain confident about their own ability to find their lifelong partners. 

A recent survey conducted by Love Script International has revealed that 73 per cent of the respondents are certain that they can find their other halves through their own efforts, although they’ve shared that they are statistically 35 years and above, and still single!

A further look at the survey results revealed that the so-called confidence might in fact stem from a desire to exercise control over one’s own choice of partner. More than 77 per cent of men and 80 per cent of women indicated that looks and physical appearance were at least “kind of important” or “very important” in selecting their partner.

“I think people still believe in the initial physical, feel-dizzily-good, hormonal attraction as the main pull factor between any two people, no matter what age they are,” says Karen Khng, Managing Director of Love Script International. 

“It’s a fact of life, we can’t fight Mother Nature, and hormones do indeed play a large part in the Law of Attraction. But after a while, you come to a realization that there’s a lot more to making a relationship last, and it doesn’t start with how your partner looks.

“Softly overlooked issues like emotional stability, availability and compatibility, long-term financial outlook, aspirations and planning, as well as family planning (no kid, one child, two kids, whether to take taking advantage of government subsidies and have more kids, etc) all come into play. 

“A lot of couples don’t realize this and jump into a relationship only to realize it takes a lot more than love and a ring on their finger to make it work, and peacefulness in a relationship is not an easily earned commodity,” says Khng.

According to Love Script International, the survey captured responses from persons from all walks of life and from all ethnic backgrounds. 

The trend spotting survey cited online dating as the main starting point for survey respondents looking for some help in the romantic department.

The main attraction factors seem to be the lower price points and the ability to exercise more control over the looks factor in their potential partners through the availability of thousands of shots of long-haired lasses sporting pouty smiles and hunky or pretty-boy looking men offering profiles of friendship and financial stability, according to conversations with many respondents.

Interestingly enough, most respondents have remained skeptical about the efficacy of online dating despite the hype over such new-fangled approaches in recent years. Some 67 per cent of the respondents still hold an unfavorable opinion towards online dating.

“Singaporeans appear to be more sophisticated and savvier than before. Online dating may appear to be an attractive, convenient and low cost way to find your partner, but many time-poor, high-level executives shun this option, citing reasons of shyness and even insecurity about the integrity of personal information and pictures posted in cyberspace,” Khng says.

One salient point revealed by the survey is that respondents’ confidence in finding their life partner drops with age. On average, respondents indicated that they would only turn to external sources of help, such as dating agencies, if they remained single at the age of 35 years or older. 

Khng says: “I see a lot of clients over 35 years who come to me for help. They’re at a stage in life where their career is already on track and they are ready to start developing their romantic lives, but don’t know where to start. 

“Factor in busy work and travel schedule, and social circles that revolve around the same ole group of people, it’s no wonder there’s so many of us who are still single.

“Although my social circles are wider than before, many of the people I meet everyday are business contacts or old friends. It can be difficult to translate these friendships into actual romantic relationships. I see so many emotionally ready and eligible people, yet they remain unattached. What a pity!” says Lisa Giam, a sales executive in her 30s who is worried about her current romantic drought.

Maybe, realistically speaking, it is pretty difficult to meet that elusive love of a lifetime. Tickets to a lifelong journey on the love boat are pretty hard to snag, it seems! Have you missed yours?

Article provided by Love Script International, a boutique introductions services firm. Love Script International conducts Singapore and international partner searches for clients. For more information email lovescript@love-script.com or visit www.love-script.com.

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