From The Straits Times    |

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a decade. We’re approaching our 30s and he still hasn’t proposed. Should I start dropping hints?

Don’t lie; you’ve started dropping hints. If you haven’t, then yes, it is time to drop some mega hints. How about a cake that says, “Why aren’t we married?” or “In Victorian England, we’d be dead by now and we’re not even hitched!”? If sugarcoating isn’t your style, talk to him. You’ve been together long enough, so you need to know where this is going. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want marriage. Did you know that male lions sometimes sit in the shade and won’t even kill a gazelle right in front of them? He’s probably happy in the relationship, but needs a little nudge to get to the next stage. Oh, did I mention you can send a cake with a not-so-subtle message?

I get ghosted by men after a series of enjoyable dates, but I don’t remember doing anything off-putting!

How enjoyable was “enjoyable”? Do you mean that dinner was nice and the conversation was delightful or that you guys went full eggplant emoji even before dinner was over? If it was the latter, well, know that sometimes guys need to be drawn in by the thrill of the chase. Playing hard- to-get is an age-old secret, but us guys fall hard for it every time. So don’t be like fast fashion, where everyone shops seven days a week. Instead, make like the snooty designer label where we fear to even look in lest we be deemed unworthy.

Want to move in with your partner?

In the film Three Kings, George Clooney’s character gets asked, “How do you get brave?” He replies, “First, you do the thing that you’re scared of, then you get the bravery after.” It might not make any sense, but yes, that’s exactly what happens when you want to move in together.

Oh, the things you’ll learn once you’re nicely settled in and can no longer easily extricate yourself from the situation because your PS5 is all hooked up and you’ve already bought a wicked Prism. For example, she never replaces the toilet paper, but instead screams for you to bring her a new roll. Or, she’s a blanket hog, rolling about in her sleep to make you a girlfriend burrito. Or, she can really be very gassy. But by the time you figure all this out, it’s too late to do anything except to figure out how to live with her. But let’s be fair, you aren’t the perfect (and gas-less) being either. Moving in together is about taking the plunge and learning to compromise, because that’s what living with someone is about. Have fun and eat less gas- inducing foods.

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