Q: I’ve been dating this guy for almost a year and he still hasn’t said he loves me, even though I’ve already told him I love him a few times. What gives?
Could it be possible that you’re not saying I love you clear enough, and he thinks you’re just clearing your throat? But if you are definitely declaring your love for him on no uncertain terms, this is a bit of a pickle. One explanation is that he really isn’t that into the relationship, and doesn’t want to commit further by reciprocating with “I love you”. The other reason could be that he’s the typical male who’s emotionally stunted, so saying “I love you” is hard for him. Either way, the next time you tell him you love him and you hear silence, it’s time to ask him what’s up.
Q: What are men nervous about on the first date?
Mostly that the woman wouldn’t want to go Dutch and he’s going to have to pay for the whole thing. Other than that, guys are nervous about the exact same things women are nervous about: what to talk about, what to wear, what if she thinks all my jokes are corny, etc. At the end of the day, we’re all the same despite our genitalia, and all any of us really want is to be accepted and loved. So, just be accepting and loving, unless you hate your date. Then just grin politely and shove the bill to him at the end. He’ll get the hint.
At what point does flirting become dangerous?
Guys love to flirt. And, distressingly, even when they are in a relationship, they’ll probably continue flirting with other women. But don’t freak out yet – just because he’s a little flirty with others doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the end of your relationship.
When the “flirting” consists of little jokes here and there, or being slightly friendlier than normal, rest easy. Because that is also the standard behaviour when a guy is with a male friend – it’s just that when it’s between a man and a woman, it appears flirty. And sure, maybe part of the reason why your guy likes to banter with that female co-worker is because, on some level, he finds her attractive – but that doesn’t mean he wants to cheat.
However, the line is crossed when the friendly banter becomes less casual. If people are finding excuses to touch each other, or if he’s constantly texting the girl in question, then yes, you have a problem.
But if this friendly banter doesn’t affect your relationship, no need to call the cheat police. You’re all good. And by the way, that also opens the door for you to laugh a little harder when that cute guy at the office passes by and drops a witty barb. Laugh, but don’t touch.
This article was first published in Her World’s April issue.