Q: I live with my boyfriend, and over the past month, he’s been gaming on the computer till 3am every night. I get that he needs his alone time, but how do I get him to see that this is a problem?
Gaming is never a problem! Okay, that’s my initial reaction, but yes, I see what you mean. But is it an actual problem? Psychologists agree that we all have traits of psychological disorders, but they only become problems when they interfere with life (ie your OCD compulsions make it difficult for you to get to work, your narcissism has pushed away everyone in your life). So, is the gaming affecting his work, or perhaps your relationship? If it is, let him know. Gaming should be a fun side quest, not the main quest. Unless he plays pro DOTA. Then get out of his way and let the man earn his cash.
Q: My guy friend has been going through a tough time with work and family, and he looks like he could use a hug on some days. But… I’m also worried that he might take the hugs the wrong way. Am I thinking too much?
No, absolutely not. Constantly hugging a guy would definitely make him think, at some point, hey, maybe we could hug again, but naked and horizontal. Don’t fault him, it’s a guy thing. But something you can ask yourself is, why do you want to hug him? Lots of people we know go through lots of tough times, because that’s just life. So why do you feel the need to hug this particular guy? Is there something more there? Just something to think about…
How important is it to a guy that his buddies like his girlfriend?
It really depends, because there are two types of dudes when it comes to this: The dudes that care, and the dudes that don’t.
That dudes that do typically want to integrate their girlfriend into their lives. Sure, they’re still going to do guy stuff with their friends, but they are also open to having their girlfriends around for dinners and other occasions. This guy wants his buddies to like his girlfriend, and see how awesome she is – just enough for them to envy him a little, but not enough to try to steal her away from him.
The other type is the sort who sees his girlfriend and his buddies as different parts of his life, so there’s no real need for them to meet. Therefore, he doesn’t care if his buddies like her or not. He figures there’s no need to have his girlfriend around when meeting his buddies because they’re usually doing “guy stuff” anyway. And also, he might think that his guy friends are uncontrollable dogs, and that they’d try to work their way in on his girlfriend.
Is he right? Obviously, the ideal is to be good friends with your partner’s buddies, but we do hear of people cheating with their partner’s friends. The incontrovertible truth is that it’s tough for your friends to hook up with your girlfriend if they don’t know who she is.
This article was first published in Her World’s March issue.