Q: My boyfriend always covers his phone screen whenever I take a glance at it. Should I ask him what’s up or demonstrate trust?
Maybe he’s planning a few gifts for you and just doesn’t want to ruin the surprise. Yeah, that’s probably not it. So, should you demonstrate trust or ask him what’s up? The answer is, you should do both. Give him some space and let him hide his screen. However, if he continues with his secret agent antics, then it’s totally fine to ask him what’s going on. Maybe he has some rational explanation – he grew up with nosy sisters and doesn’t like people looking at his stuff – but if he doesn’t give you some kind of satisfactory answer, then you have to start asking yourself what’s really going on in his phone. And that requires an answer to a whole new question.
(Read also “Is Emotional Cheating As Bad As Physical Cheating?“)
Q: They say that the best way to move on from an ex is to go “no contact”. However, I find that hard to do. Any advice?
Take up some other horrible vice like binge drinking or smoking. No, that’s awful advice. But it’s sort of accurate in that you need to find something else to occupy your time with. If you’ve ever thought of taking up something new – tennis, learning how to play the piano, rock climbing – now is the time. Not only will it take your mind off your ex, but it could put you out there to meet someone new – who might turn out to be The One… or who might just become your next ex.
(The “10 Signs You’re Not Over Your Ex“)
Breaking up is never fun, but the sooner you can move on, the better it will be. One way is to cut off your ex like a gangrene-infected limb. Sure, it hurts short-term, but in the long run, you’d be better off without a pus- filled, rotting appendage.
But how does one cut off an ex and avoid all the late night messaging, awkward physical encounters, and the urge to stalk their social media networks? Introduce something new into your life.
Post-break-up is a good time to take on a new challenge. Ever wanted to play golf or run a marathon? Dying to learn Spanish, bake a four-tier cake, or deep dive into taxidermy (I’m not judging)? Or maybe you’ve always wanted to give back to society and volunteer at charity organisations. Whatever it is, now is the time to do it. What you’re looking for is a consuming interest or passion that takes up most of your time and occupies most of your thoughts, so you literally have no chance to think about your ex.
And the great thing is that taking on a slew of new activities could set you up to meet someone so new, awesome and “Tiktokable” that your ex, who no doubt is lurking all over your social media, will have no choice but to recognise what an awesome partner you were, and how sad their lives are without you. And, let’s face it, when you’re moving on from an ex, that’s really all anyone wants.
This story first appeared in the November 2021 issue of Her World.