8 things your man secretly wants during sex

PHOTOGRAPH: 123rf.com

They are visual creatures.

“Many men love it when you make the effort to look good for them,” says Dariusz P. Skowronski, clinical sexologist and psychologist, and founder of Bright Life Counselling (bright-life-counselling.com).

If you want to tease your man, wear something sexy to bed. He’ll love seeing you in, say, a satin camisole or just a pair of lace panties. “You don’t have to be totally naked to get him all hot and bothered,” says Dariusz. “So don’t feel like you have to show him everything at once – you want to leave a little to the imagination. Most guys would be happy to see you in anything that accentuates those parts of your body that he finds sexy, be it your cleavage, your tummy or your legs.”

Leaving the light on is also a good idea, so that your man can admire your body while making love. If you’re self-conscious, dim the light a little or use a table lamp. For a really sexy ambience, light a candle instead.


They love receiving oral sex.

Sure, guys love vaginal sex, but oral sex is in a special category all by itself. “Research shows that, for a lot of men, there’s something really amazing about watching a woman performing oral sex,” says Dariusz. “Not only do they find the act extremely intimate, pleasurable and relaxing, it’s also thrilling when they can see that their partner is enjoying it too. It makes them feel good on the inside, it makes them feel loved, cherished and accepted.”


Read more: 4 unexpected pleasure zones on your man’s body you need to know to have great sex


The next time you go down on your man, don’t just focus on his penis, though. He’ll love it if you also pay attention to his testicles, and that area of skin between his testicles and anus, which is a known pleasure zone (also known as the male G-spot).


They want your feedback.

Don’t stay silent during lovemaking – be sure to tell your man what you like (or don’t like) and show him how you want to be touched. “Most men strive to make their partner happy in bed, but they do need guidance,” says Dariusz. So, if you want him to move faster, thrust harder, go deeper, or slow down, don’t be afraid to vocalise it. You don’t have to bark out orders, but you should be as direct and honest as possible.

Here are a few lines you can use while making love: “Darling, that feels really good but could you slow down a little, please?” or “Sweetie, I love what you’re doing – don’t stop”.


They don’t want you to fake orgasm.

Lying about your pleasure is a definite no-no, says Dariusz. “Research has shown that men would rather you didn’t have an orgasm at all than fake it. It’s okay to not orgasm every single time you make love; what’s more important is being honest with your man, and that means not being afraid to say you didn’t climax if he asks.”


Read more: How to tell if your man is faking an orgasm


They love variety.

Men tend to get bored easily, so to keep things exciting, remember to switch up sex positions and locations every now and then, Dariusz advises. For instance, if you’re used to the missionary position, try doing it doggie-style the next time. And if you always have sex in the bedroom, you may want to move the action to some other part of the house, like the living room or shower, for a change.


They like it when you make some noise.

Moaning is music to your man’s ears; so don’t hold back when it comes to voicing your pleasure this way. “It doesn’t have to be loud and you don’t have to scream or shout,” says Dariusz. “Soft moans are sexy and encouraging.”


Read more: The secret to having awesome sex with your man tonight


They like being complimented.

If you love how his body feels, tell him. If you can’t get enough of his penis, make sure he knows, says Dariusz. “Focus on the good stuff, not the bad. It’s not the time or place to be critical of his body or make fun of his sexual moves. Some guys take such harsh words quite personally.” And if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.


They love it when you take charge.

This isn’t the same as bossing him around. It means taking the initiative and not being afraid to go after what you want. Says Dariusz: “Don’t wait for him to initiate sex or suggest a new position, for instance. Just go ahead and call the shots. It will take some of the pressure off him, plus, it’s empowering for you and helps you become more sexually confident.”