PHOTOGRAPH: kiuikson, 123rf.com
Martha Lee, clinical sexologist from Eros Coaching, gives you some tips on how you and your partner can have the most fulfilling sex – even if you have just 15 minutes to spare.
1 Stop overthinking sex
Banish thoughts or attitudes such as: “I am taking too long”, “He’s tired”, “He should know what to do” or “I should be pleasing him”.
These only distract you and stop you from reaching orgasm.
Instead of focusing on giving your husband pleasure, just play around with him and see how it goes. Take the pressure off and you’ll both have a lot more fun.
2 Use a vibrator
Your trusty vibrator can accelerate the process of getting you ready for penetrative sex. Use it on or around your clitoris to give you the oomph you need for a quick orgasm. Let your partner watch so he can get excited, take over and finish.
3 Masturbate in front of one another
No one knows what gets you to your sweet spot better than yourself. Masturbate together with your partner and watch each other. Mutual masturbation allows both of you to explore your own bodies while being stimulated by your lover’s presence, which can get really intense and arousing.
Don’t be afraid to let your imagination run wild. Get creative and incorporate your fantasies into your lovemaking. Mental images of what you want to happen can help to build anticipation and excitement.
You do not need to share these thoughts with Hubby if you feel uncomfortable about doing so. But if you think he is open to listening, spill the beans and you might just get your wish.
5 Do kegel exercises during sex
Kegel exercises are usually used to strengthen weakened pelvic floor muscles, but the act of clenching your buttocks and upper thigh muscles during sex can also greatly enhance the sexual experience.
Squeeze your pelvic floor muscles – the same ones you use to hold your pee – to increase blood flow to your pelvic area. This increases vaginal lubrication and clitoral engorgement that can contribute to helping you orgasm. Start by training your pelvic floor muscles so that you can incorporate Kegel exercises into sex later on.
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6 Speed up your breathing
Your body takes cues from physiological changes you experience. Induce greater sexual pleasure by intentionally quickening your breath. This simulates the panting that occurs when you are near your peak, which excites your body and creates sensations of an orgasm. This helps you get into the flow of “the deed” faster.
7 Experiment to find what works best
Figure out what gets both of you into the mood in the fastest way. It could be speaking to each other in a suggestive way or even a particular article of clothing you wear that drives him crazy, such as hot shorts, lacy lingerie or stockings. Pick up on what typically works best for you so it can help to get you going when you only have time for a quickie.
8 Take charge
Go on top, so you can control the depth of penetration and the pace. Your man too, gets visual stimulation from watching you pleasure yourself and move. Rub, hold, stretch and manoeuvre your body.
9 Go deeper and faster
Put your hands on a chair, desk, couch or wall and lean forward with your butt in the air. Tilt your pelvic region to let your partner enter from behind you. This gives him all the control so all you have to do is let go and enjoy.
10 Clit play
Ask your partner to touch you in the way that works for you. Or position yourself so both your bodies are aligned and move against him for clitoral stimulation. This will get both of you going quickly.