Relationships can be hard. Whether it’s distance or busy schedules that keep you apart, or a difference in personalities that leads to misunderstandings, you have to put in the effort to make it work. But, sometimes, there are signs that the man you’re dating isn’t worth all that energy. Look out for these 10 relationship red flags and end it before he breaks your heart.
He doesn’t put in any effort
It’s not good to keep score in a relationship but being in a one-sided commitment should be a cause for concern. If your man isn’t bothered to take the relationship further or even organise any dates or activities for the two of you, you’re doing too much ‘work’ and you need to be in a more balanced relationship. Not putting in effort shows he’s not invested in this relationship so it might be best to cut your losses and leave.
He disses his exes
Let’s be honest, many relationships don’t end well but you have to question the situation if your new man is dissing every single one of his exes. If he accuses all of them of being ‘crazy’ or ‘needy’ or, well, any other negative word, you should start to wonder if it’s him that’s the problem. It could also show that he’s a bitter person who holds grudges or that he carries a lot of emotional baggage – either way, you should heed the warning signs.
He never apologises
Admitting when you’re wrong is one of the most essential qualities of being a decent human being and this is certainly important when you’re in a relationship. If he never ever says he’s sorry – whether he’s late for a date or he had to cancel at the last minute or he said something to hurt your feelings – it shows he has a big ego and is someone you should steer clear of.
He tries to change you
It’s all well and good wanting your partner to improve but if he’s telling you to change your looks or live your life differently – such as getting new friends or stop doing the things you love – that’s a big red flag. Your man should encourage you to grow, not change. He should accept (and love) you for who you are and not try to turn you into a version of a partner he wants you to be.
He makes you feel guilty
A man who loves sending you on guilt trips has some serious self-esteem issues. So whether it’s because he thinks you’re spending too much time together or that you aren’t with him enough, it doesn’t matter; as long as he’s making you feel that way. If he’s making you feel guilty about doing ‘normal’ things in a relationship, you should hear the alarm bells loud and clear.
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He’s rude to others
He could show a lack of respect for his parents or is just generally rude to service staff such as waiters and taxi drivers. How he treats others is a reflection of his overall personality so if he isn’t nice to people for no specific reason, he’s probably not someone you should be involved with.
He wants you all to himself
It sounds oh-so-romantic but this should actually be a red flag. If he’s insisting that you spend all your free time with him and only him, and not to tell anyone about your relationship, that isn’t normal. It’s fine to keep things private, such as never posting about each other on social media, but hiding your partner from everyone else in your lives is seriously warped so stay away if he does this.
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He wants all your personal info
We’re not talking about him wanting to know your favourite colour or your most memorable childhood memory. If he’s asking for your passwords or login details to your social media accounts or personal email, you might want to walk out the door. Everyone needs some privacy even when they’re in a relationship so him wanting to know these details shows he doesn’t trust you and needs to be in control, which is a big no-no.
Your friends hate him and vice versa
You definitely should have a mind of your own and not listen to every single thing your friends tell you but if you’re with a man who not even a single one of your mates likes, you should pay close attention. They know you well and will only have your best interests at heart. And, if he’s putting down all your friends too and discouraging you from seeing them, don’t ignore this bright red flag.
He constantly makes fun of you
Laughing together is one of the best parts of being part of a couple so it’s great to be able to joke around. But if he’s laughing at your expense, that isn’t a good sign. Walk away if he’s always making fun of you, whether it’s the way you dress, the way you drive or the fact that you like a particular type of food/music/films. It shows he disrespects you and that’s definitely not on in a relationship.