It doesn’t have to be all gloom and doom if your sex drive has plummeted. Here are different ways to get back your mojo.
1 Just do it
The more you have sex, the easier it is to become aroused. The less you do it, the less you want to do it – your body just forgets about its sex drive. So having ‘maintenance sex’ with your husband is important. It keeps the juices flowing and also helps him feel good about the relationship, keeps you connected, and helps your own libido.
Tip: Allow your husband to touch you sexually, whether you’re in the mood or not. Nerves that are wired to parts of the brain involved in sexual excitement will be stimulated, and physical arousal will likely follow.
2 Arousal aids
There are many over-the-counter lubricants, gels, massage oils, and sex toys available to increase your libido. Arousal gels can help get you in the mood and heighten pleasurable sensations. The gel is applied topically to the clitoris, boosting sensitivity and creating warmth to increase enjoyment during intimacy.
Tip: Pour yourself a glass of wine and navigate to www.cleansheets.com. A little bit of erotic reading can help you get into the mood!
3 Switch up your birth control pill
Hormonal changes take a big toll on your sex drive. Contraceptive pills can be one of the biggest culprits – they can reduce your production of testosterone, which affects your level of sexual arousal. Certain types of medication can also dry you up down there, making sex painful.
Tip: Triphasic birth control pills (which deliver different amounts of hormones every week) may interfere less with your sex drive than monophasic pills (which deliver the same amount of hormones at each dose).
4 Lose weight
If extra weight is keeping you from being intimate with your husband, losing it will help jump start your sex drive. Start by cutting out white, refined flours and sugars from your diet, eating a lighter dinner and drinking six to eight glasses of water a day to help shed the weight.
Tip: While it’s important to love and accept your body at any size, if you’re overweight, losing even five kilos can stimulate your sex hormones.
5 De-stress before sex
Everyday stressors like work, your children’s grades or a nagging mother-in-law affect your sex life more than you may realise. When you’re stressed, your body produces more cortisol. This hormone, which is needed by your body in small doses, can decrease sexual desire when there is an excess. So before bedtime, find a way to clear your mind and release the stress of the day, whether it’s a warm bath or listening to some calming music.
Tip: Indulge in sex fantasies – thinking about sex will increase your desire and make you more likely to initiate it.
6 Eat clean
A study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found a link between high cholesterol and women with difficulty in arousal and orgasm. When cholesterol builds up in the arteries, it restricts blood flow, even to your pelvic area. This can lead to decreased vaginal sensation, making it harder to achieve an orgasm.
Tip: Keep your cholesterol in a healthy range by loading up on fruits and vegetables and cutting down on animal fats and whole-milk products.
7 Examine your relationship
A low sex drive can also be a sign of relationship problems outside the bedroom. Whether it’s minor issues or something more serious, professional help from a marriage or family therapist can open the lines of communication again. If the only problem in the relationship is sex, then seeing a sex therapist can be helpful.
Tip: Have a spa day together – studies show that steam rooms boost blood flow and naturally increase libido.
8 Do your Kegels
Pelvic floor exercises, or Kegel exercises, can improve your awareness of the muscles involved in orgasm. To do these exercises, tighten your pelvic muscles as if you’re stopping a stream of urine, then hold, relax and repeat. You can do it several times a day, even while you’re walking, watching TV or at your desk.
Tip: Start with at least four or five reps of two-second holds, three times a day, and work up to 10-second holds.
Yoga does more than just get you flexible – it may also be a libido booster, according to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. Yoga makes you more familiar with your body and helps you get in touch with your sexuality. It can also improve your orgasms by increasing blood flow down there.
Tip: The Kneeling Core Plank is particularly good for increasing female sex drive.
10 Physical contact
Holding hands with your hubby is sweet, but can it also make for better sex? Definitely – even little acts of touching your partner – especially spontaneously – prompts your body to release the hormone oxytocin, which may boost closeness and arousal. Studies have shown that even 20-second hugs can help people feel more bonded.
Tip: Hug and cuddle your man whenever you can, and choose unexpected times to touch your husband to spark feelings of intimacy and trigger sexual desire.