Royal Caribbean Icon of the Seas review: Should you cruise as a solo traveller?

Following a soul-crushing 27-hour journey from Singapore to Miami, coupled with the mood-destroying effects of jet lag, the last thing anyone needs is a giant cookie mascot looming over them, telling everyone to “WASHY WASHY, BEFORE YOU YUMMY YUMMY!” in a chirpy, singsong voice.

It’s my first day on board Royal Caribbean’s four-day three-night Icon of the Seas (IOTS) maiden cruise in Miami, and I’m in desperate need of sustenance (sugar! carbs! sanity!). But I didn’t have anything left in me to washy-washy my way past Mr Cookie to the tantalising American buffet spread tucked away at the Windjammer, one of the 40-plus restaurants, bars and cafes on the ship. For context, each guest is required to scrub their digits before entering the establishment.

As I made a sharp U-turn and hightailed my way down to Park Cafe, a more tranquil deli located at the lush, Central Park enclave on Deck 8, I can’t help but wish that my close-knit group of girlfriends were here. If I were in good company, I could even have taken on that frighteningly friendly mascot at the Windjammer. 

I’m a committed solo traveller, mostly because vacationing with people involves the delicate management of logistics and human dynamics. It’s the very definition of work away from work – not what I’d envision for a break from my bosses and colleagues.

This being a review for a press junket aside, I was also convinced that I wasn’t a “cruise” person before this trip. I still am not, but it’s no fault of IOTS. The bells and whistles of Royal Caribbean’s new blockbuster vessel are far more suited for couples, squads, and families – solo curmudgeons need not apply. 

A heaving behemoth of fun

At 365m long, with a total of 20 decks, and a guest capacity of 5,610, the Icon of the Seas is the world’s largest cruise ship. Throw in six loopy waterslides, seven pools and nine whirlpools, and you’ve got the perfect cocktail for a possibly drama-free holiday. 

Want to discuss that hot tub scene on Single’s Inferno with the girls? Then hop into a whirl pool for a tete-a-tete. Looking to affirm your friendship? Nothing bonds people together like the trauma of hurtling through a pitch-black tunnel-slide at hair-raising speeds. The ship boasts the tallest drop slide, which measures 14m tall and 85m long.

There’s even a chance for you to dangle yourself over the ocean at Crown’s Edge, a 41 metre-tall skywalk that culminates in the floor beneath you collapsing, and you gliding down a flying fox to the ground. It’s a little like walking the plank, except you survive. 

Personally, I enjoyed kicking back at The Hideaway on Deck 15, an outdoor space that has small private enclaves decked out with cushioned lounge chairs that are set against an endless view of the deep blue waters. Throw in a live band playing Caribbean beats, a soft-serve ice cream cone from the nearby dessert kiosk, and you’re all set.

Enjoy the sweet, suite life

I have to confess that if not for the fact that I was on a press junket and thus was obligated to explore the ship from end-to-end, I was perfectly happy to stay in my cosy Standard Ocean View Room. At 12 sqm, it was beautifully furnished with a plush carpet, a roomy couch and an incredibly soft bed. 

The little balcony overlooking the ocean was the perfect spot for me to, uh, work (unfortunately, we were still in the midst of closing our February print issue). Listening to the sound of the waves, feeling the sea breeze in my hair, and basking in the Caribbean sun made me less inclined to hurl my work-issued laptop into the ocean.

Now, if I were with my friends – sans work – we’d probably splurge on a more roomy Sunset Corner Suite, which can fit up to four people, and has a wraparound balcony (perfect for a mimosa party).

Calm down at Coco Cay

With so much going on at IOTS – open-mike karaoke, stand-up comedy sessions, stage musicals, and even a live “duelling pianos” showcase at the bar – it can get a little overwhelming. I was happy to get away from busy-ness and explore Coco Cay, a private island in the Bahamas with beach clubs, water parks, restaurants and bars. 

Of course, this is Royal Caribbean we are talking about, so you can expect a whole host of family-friendly activities, from the ominously-named The Daredevil’s Tower, which features the 41m-tall Daredevil’s Peak, the tallest waterslide in the US. You can also hop on a hot air balloon if you prefer to soak in the island views at a leisurely pace.

I’d skip the Hideaway Beach, a buzzy beach club that can get a little crowded later in the day, and add on a full-day pass to Coco Beach Club, which allows access for up to eight people. It’s a private, tranquil beach sanctuary with crystalline waters, fancy cabanas, and fantastic food and service.

I had a grilled lobster with truffle fries, a rum-soaked cake, and a rum pineapple cocktail at the club's restaurant. The laid-back, easy demeanour of Richard, the steward who attended to my table, put me at ease. The one-day Coco Cay experience turned a stressful workaway into a truly enjoyable getaway.

Come for the hype, stay for the service

What truly impressed me about IOTS was not its over-the-top facilities, or that the ship’s architects had managed to stack a bunch of slides on the upper decks of the vessel. It was the warm and sincere hospitality of the staff, who hail from over 130 different countries. I’m extremely grateful to the Filipino housekeeping manager who took the time to assist with my query about where I could find bottled water, and also for rustling up four large bottles anyway, because “I looked very thirsty.” My room attendant, Ketut, was extremely attentive, patient and meticulous.

At the Windjammer, a Filipino waiter enthusiastically shared his love for Canadian singer Alanis Morrisette when he noticed my concert T-shirt. Even Mr Washy-Washy, who is stationed at the restaurant’s entrance throughout the day, eventually won me over with his relentlessly cheerful disposition.

And should you find yourself on the cruise with friends, rest assured that you are in good hands – any disagreements will likely be defused by the top-notch service you’re guaranteed to experience. If not, there’s always the possibility of creating some space (365m, to be exact) between yourselves.

Prices for sailings onboard Icon of the Seas start from $2,344 per person. More information here.