A serendipitous meet-cute led this couple to cross continents for each other

Would you quit your job and move to another country for a boyfriend of four months? Or brave the frigid Arctic Circle with someone you met online? Three Singapore women who have taken such extraordinary leaps of faith share how they went the extra mile to make their romantic relationships thrive. Here's part one of our three-part Valentine's Day series.

When Charlotte Chow, 34, and Hayato Isa, 39, met at a coffee joint in 2014, neither would have imagined that this encounter would culminate in a whirlwind, long-distance romance.

As Charlotte Chow spied a tall and handsome stranger seated across her at a cafe in Shenton Way, her interest was piqued. The medical device territory manager was in between work appointments when she decided to start a conversation with Hayato Isa on a whim.

“We joined tables and talked. I can’t even remember what we said to each other; it’s probably just inconsequential stuff,” she says. That conversation, however, revealed a shared passion for food – and it sparked a budding friendship where they hung out over meals at restaurants around Singapore.

“We started out going for dinners because we both love food, and he didn’t know what else there was to do here. At that point, he was already living in Singapore for five years and was looking for new experiences,” says Charlotte.

She reckons that Hayato – a Japanese expatriate who was working in fixed income sales with a bank – might have been open to that spontaneous encounter in the coffee joint as “he had probably let his guard down a little bit” with her. “I guess he usually gets picked up by a lot of men. And he doesn’t really get chatted up by Singapore women… so when I said, ‘hi’, he said ‘hi’ back,” she says.

Their platonic friendship took an unexpected turn three months later, when Hayato introduced Charlotte as his girlfriend to his friend over lunch. “I actually didn’t know we were officially together, and when he said I was his girlfriend, I was like: What does this mean?” she exclaims with a hint of incredulity.

While they both share similar interests, their personalities could not be more different. Hayato is stoic and quiet – every once in a while, he reveals a dry sense of humour with an odd quip. Vivacious and outgoing, Charlotte was always hanging out with different groups of friends and organising get-togethers.

“I am the opposite of Hayato. He has few friends, but it’s not because of his personality; he just doesn’t socialise as much. On the other hand, I love bringing people together all the time,” she says.

Taking the plunge

In September 2014, about four months after they started officially dating, Hayato was posted back to Tokyo. At the same time, the medical company that Charlotte was working for was undergoing an acquisition, and she found herself at a crossroads.

“I would either have to join the new company, or look for a job elsewhere. And because Hayato was leaving, I tried looking for a job in Tokyo and actually secured one in recruitment,” she says.

However, the move was not a smooth transition for Charlotte. Assimilating into Japanese culture was a challenge and, to top it off, the couple plunged into hitherto unknown territory, only a few months after meeting each other.

“Hayato wasn’t sure about us, and rightfully so, because we’d only been dating for four or five months. And suddenly, here I am, moving countries for him,” she explains.

Perhaps it was cold feet, but what came next was a deal-breaker for Charlotte: Hayato was adamant that he did not want to move in with her. “He said, you can come over, but we are going to live separate lives, and we can go on dates together,” she says.

Knowing that he was not ready for a deeper commitment, she decided to pack her bags a month after moving to Tokyo and leave for Melbourne, where she held a permanent residency. “I tried to make it work; it couldn’t work. I sold my car and left my job, so there was nothing to go back to in Singapore. I wanted to start over on a clean slate, so I left for Australia. It was so heartbreaking for me,” she reveals.

It was the start of a new chapter for Charlotte, or so she thought. Hayato reached out to her some time after their break-up and told her that he was leaving his job to join her in Australia.

“I didn’t want to deal with this [relationship] anymore, but he was still trying to talk to me every day while I was in Australia. He said he had been very upset [since the break-up]. Obviously, he hadn’t moved on,” she says.

Overcoming financial challenges

In spite of herself, Charlotte welcomed his decision. Although they were both in between jobs, she figured they would work something out eventually. In July 2015, they were finally reunited in Melbourne – and decided to waste no time in getting hitched.

It might seem like a startling development after a tumultuous few months, but Charlotte viewed this as a way to make their relationship work: “I was too in love with him, and he obviously was still in love with me. I didn’t want to waste time being obsessed with someone. So we decided to get married in November that year.”

She adds wryly: “We went from breaking up to getting married. Can you believe it?” Unfortunately, their marriage presented a new set of challenges. The newly-weds were well aware that they were treading on thin ice financially – Charlotte, who has a nursing background, was a freelance nurse with an eldercare facility, while Hayato was finding it a challenge to secure a job.

It was a major stressor for the both of them, says Charlotte, as she was only assigned jobs on an ad-hoc basis. And while Hayato had his savings to fall back on, “You can’t use your savings forever.” This wore on them, and they were fighting constantly over their finances for nearly a year.

Finally, in 2016, a window of opportunity presented itself in Sydney. The couple landed full-time jobs in the city: Hayato with a bank, and Charlotte in the medical devices field. And after two years in Sydney, they decided to return to Japan.

This time around, they were moving back as a trio. “I found out I was pregnant three days after Hayato secured a job in Tokyo. It was not a surprise because we’d been trying to conceive for months,” says Charlotte.

The timing was kismet. Today, Hayato and Charlotte are proud parents to Isla, three, and Chiara, two. The family still lives in Tokyo – Charlotte is currently a homemaker, and Hayato still works in the finance industry. Now, parenthood has brought them closer in the most unexpected ways.

“Our younger daughter, Chiara, who is headstrong, bonds us together because now we are both angry at the same person. She has a bit of an attitude, and everything gets a ‘no’ from her, so our stress levels get very high – in Japan, children are expected to be very well behaved. So now, we talk about how she’s so cute, but so naughty,” says Charlotte.

The couple have faced their fair share of trials and tribulations to make their relationship work, but Charlotte acknowledges that it’s taken a lot of hard work and determination; her resolve was strengthened because she knew that he is, simply put, a decent guy worth fighting for.

She says: “We’re just doing it, you know; there is no mantra or anything. We just went with our feelings. He’s a good person, and I hadn’t met a decent person in a really long time. He doesn’t cheat, and he’s not taking any money from me. That’s good, right? But I guess if there’s one thing we have learnt over these seven years together, it’s how to let go of control."