From The Straits Times    |


Image: 123rf.com

Keeping a marriage together is not an easy feat. Here are five ways to ensure that you and your husband can have long-lasting intimacy. 

STEP 1
Do a love language audit: Relationship expert Gary Chapman discovered that people give and receive love in different ways, which he categorised into “five love languages”: words of affi rmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, physical touch and quality time. Visit http:// www.5lovelanguages.com to fi nd out yours and Hubby’s love languages. Then, express your feelings for him in the language he’s most receptive to. 

STEP 2
Keep a couple tradition going. It can be as simple as a goodbye kiss before work, making a cup of coffee for him at breakfast or sending a midday text to ask about his day.

STEP 3
Explore shared interests. Pick up a new language or try a trampoline workout so you’ll have more things to talk about.

STEP 4
Be quick to forgive and say sorry when you’ve exchanged harsh words.

STEP 5
Take the initiative to make things better by asking yourself “What do I need to do/ say differently to help him understand me better?”, instead of expecting your partner to change first.

Expert sources: Larry Lai, principal counsellor at Focus on the Family Singapore, and Andrew Marshall, a marital expert in Britain and the author of I Love You, but I’m Not in Love with You.

Are you facing a marriage crisis? Ask yourself these questions:

1. You can’t be bothered to speak to your partner, and you think: “What’s the point?”.
2. Your partner says “Oh, it’s nothing” to a problem that you know exists.
3. You believe that the problem will magically disappear.
4. You have sex infrequently.
5. You have plenty of family time, but almost non-existent couple time.

If you find yourself agreeing to most of these questions, you might want to consult these counseling services:

Focus on the Family Singapore: Call 6491-0700, e-mail counseling@ family.org.sg or visit www.family.org.sg/ marriage.
Family Service Centres (FSCs): Call the Comcare Hotline at 1800-222-000 or fi nd an FSC near you at www.msf.gov.sg/
fsclocator.
Eagles Mediation & Counselling Centre: Call 6788-8220 or e-mail reachus@ emcc.org.sg.