I’m going to preempt potential backlash by Big Bang fangirls (the horde calls themselves the V.I.Ps, which says everything, really) by inserting a tiny caveat upfront: Yours truly knows absolutely zilch about K-Pop.

What do I know about Big Bang? A cursory Google search confirms my hazy impression of the band as being composed of fabulously fey boys with heavily kohled eyes and outre clothes, whose posters, incidentally, plaster the walls of my beloved editor’s boudoir of a cubicle …

All jesting aside, I’ll like to believe that I have some sense of what rocks, aesthetics-wise. Here, then, is my snap judgment of the provocative Saint Laurent threads the pretty boys were sporting during a recent press junket in Singapore:

G-DRAGON

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WHAT HE WORE: Classic single-breasted jacket in gray and white tennis striped wool, sleeveless T-Shirt in black and mustard striped cotton jersey, classic skinny black leather pants with 5-pocket detailing, all by Saint Laurent Homme

PLAYING STYLIST: There’s a lot going on, so let’s get straight to breaking it down. The good: I’m digging his fearless mishmash of horizontal and vertical stripes. Also seriously coveting his handsome blazer, which reads as luxe without veering into stuffy black-tie territory. Would pair it with slim cigarette pants, a nice black shirt and call it a day, but what do I know?

Now for the sartorially suspect. What on earth could G-Dragon be thinking when he deigned to allow his stylist to wrap that burgundy paisley bandanna around his tiny waist? Methinks that scarlet scarf only serves to direct attention to his crotch-slash-mini G-Dragon … wait, I think I’ve just answered my own rhetorical question.

TAEYANG

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WHAT HE WORE: Gold jacket with black leather shawl collar by Saint Laurent Homme

PLAYING STYLIST: Flaming Lamborghini, this is getting ridiculous. K-Pop stars must spend days pulling together an outfit. I get the casual-formal frisson Taeyang’s gunning for by juxtaposing his breathtakingly intricate brocade blazer with artfully ripped faded jeans … but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Call me conservative in a white-bread all-American way, but I like showcasing one standout piece at a time; my eyes find it hard to focus on so many competing textural items at once.

In any case, what an absolutely darling jacket! The floral whorls remind me of patterns embossed into my favourite eyeshadow quads, and the masterpiece is a sartorial Beyonce; it doesn’t need a Kelly or Michelle crowding up the joint.

If left to my own devices, I’ll order Taeyang to take off the unnecessary baubles (what’s with all the paisley kerchiefs!) and shove him onto the stage with just the jacket on – and nothing else, if that will satiate the rabid V.I.Ps. fuming at my critical presumptuousness!

SEUNGRI

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WHAT HE WORE: “Teddy” bomber jacket in silver patent leather, skinny jeans with 5-pocket detailing and leather belt with mesh detailing, all by Saint Laurent Homme

PLAYING STYLIST: Now this is how you wear Saint Laurent. The perfectly patina-ed leather of his bomber is divine beyond belief, and the silver buckle of his belt is on-point without being too matchy-matchy. Love the age-appropriate baseball cap and all-black everything-else, which really plays up the B-boy beauty of his jacket. Would wear this in a heartbeat. Seungri scores!

For more information on Big Bang, visit www.ygbigbang.com and follow the band on Facebook and Twitter. For more information on Saint Laurent, visit www.ysl.com and follow Saint Laurent on Facebook.