Credit: Instagram/sheila_sim

We all grow up carrying the scars of our childhood and that can influence us in many ways.

Mental health has been a subject of importance in recent times (especially due to the pandemic) and on the latest episode of the meWATCH talkshow Hear U Out, local actress Sheila Sim, 37, opened up to host Quan Yi Fong about why she decided to see a psychologist.

When she was 30, a sense of emptiness, coupled with the insecurity that stemmed from her rough times as a child and a young adult, prompted her to seek help.

“I’d gone through ups and downs as a child. I’d been looking for answers but to no avail. I’d also had some rocky relationships. I subsequently suspected the problem lay with me. I’d have the same problems with different boyfriends. They’d ultimately lead to breakups,” she said.

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At her worst, Sheila was even violent during her past relationships.

She said: “That time, I was so mad that I couldn’t express myself with words. I started biting myself and my boyfriend… It was most atrocious and horrible. I felt I needed to see a shrink.”

Sheila sought answers and through therapy, established that her insecurity was the cause.

She explained: “Those who are insecure need their partner to make them feel secure. That’s the biggest problem. Your partner can’t give you a sense of security. A sense of security comes from within yourself.”

(Here are “5 Times Ya Hui Showed Us How To Beat Self-Doubt And Insecurity“)

When asked how insecurity can harm a relationship, Sheila raised an example of someone who might doubt their partner if they don’t reinforce their love for them constantly.

“This stems from your own sense of emptiness and emotional instability. You may feel unloved due to past family incidents and you need your partner to reinforce or remind you of his love for you. This is tiresome for your partner,” she shared.

The journey of self-discovery was a long one for the model-turned-actress and she had to piece herself back together.

However, she is now in a loving, stable and healthy relationship with her husband Deon Woo and the couple have a one-year-old daughter Layla.

Sheila has also completed a course in positive psychology.

Speaking on her journey, she said: “It was a long process. Besides seeing a shrink, I learnt meditation. I read a lot, attended courses and so on.”

This article was first published in AsiaOne.