Ryan Gosling has got someone pregnant and it’s not me! B.png

Behold! An eerily prophetic picture from The Place Beyond the Pines

Congrats on carrying Ryan Gosling’s baby … said no woman ever.

Anyone vaguely versed in celeb chatter will be aware of the recent revelation that the Internet’s Number One Imaginary Boyfriend is fist-pumping over the imminent arrival of his first baby with Eva Mendes.

You know what’s even more earth-shattering? 40-year-old Eva’s said to be seven months along, which, setting aside The Mystery of Mendes’ Missing Baby Bump, means that a mini Gosling is poised to greet Hollywood’s gang of panting paparazzi anytime now.

To be fair, the notoriously private pair has neither confirmed nor denied these allegations, but the Gosling Girl Club needs no official proof (or is that excuse?) to throw a pity party – so much so that the anguish of the heartbroken horde appears to rival that of Team Argentina fans, rivulets streaking down their stricken faces after their loss in the World Cup …

… Which is all very silly, if you ask me. Gosling’s good-looking enough for a Canadian chap (better than Bieber, at any rate) but speaking as a Zac Efron zealot myself, this showy spectacle of sorrow is spectacularly unseemly, not to mention hugely hilarious.

Don’t believe me? Witness the weeping and wailing, the tears and theatrical tantrums, all captured for posterity on the treasure trove that is Twitter.

Here’s a selection of the finest and funniest tweets for your perusal, but first, some words from the wise: Girlfriend, be happy for the Dad-to-be already. Save your sadness for when Harry Styles gets someone preggers!

You can follow Ryan Gosling on Twitter and Instagram. Eva Mendes, on the other hand, is quite wisely not very active on social media.