From The Straits Times    |

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“My hubby forgave me for sleeping with my ex.” – Maureen*, 35, interior designer, married for two years

“Three months ago, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend Jason* at a wedding and he told me how fabulous I looked. When I agreed to have coffee with him, I didn’t think it would lead to anything.

But he drew me in with his warmth and his charm, and we ended up having sex in a hotel room that afternoon. He kept telling me how beautiful I was. Even though we only had sex that one time, I felt so guilty. Knowing that I’d betrayed my husband gave me a horrible, sinking feeling.

I confessed to my husband that same night. He was shattered beyond words, and angry, but I begged him for another chance. He couldn’t understand why I’d cheated because we had no serious problems. To me, sex with Jason was something that just happened, something I couldn’t control. I was truly remorseful and promised my husband that I’d never cheat on him again.

We agreed to see a couples’ counsellor. During therapy, I shared how good Jason had made me feel. I realised that I was feeling slightly taken for granted – that what I craved was my husband’s attention and validation.

Luckily, my husband never talked about leaving me. He asked me if I still loved him and wanted to be married to him, and I said yes. He said that was all he needed to know, and we had to work things out and try to heal together.

I cut off contact with Jason – he wanted to see me again, but I told him that sleeping together was a mistake. He was initially upset, but agreed to leave me alone. I never heard from him again.

My husband and I now set aside “couple time” a few nights a week, when we talk openly about what we love about each other. I’m working to regain his trust. For example, I allow him to check my text messages so he’s assured that I’m not seeing Jason anymore. I also tell him where I’m going if I’m out with my girlfriends, and make it a point to tell him often how much I love and want to be with him.

My husband is now a lot more romantic. He makes the effort to compliment me more, and be more affectionate and attentive. Our love feels rejuvenated.”

*Names have been changed

This story was first published in Her World Magazine June 2013.

Find out why this Singapore woman decided to fight for her marriage after finding out here husband had an affair.