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#1 He sarcastically tells you to invite your ex along for future dates
DO THIS: Assure him by reinforcing his status as a boyfriend through caring acts such as buying him a new wallet if his current one is worn out. You could also revisit significant places where you had your first date or kiss, to let him know that you treasure the relationship, says Celestine Chua, personal coach and founder of personal coaching website Personal Excellence. Remind him that you treat your ex as nothing more than a friend and let him discuss his concerns – such as whether you still harbour feelings for your ex. Then work out a compromise, like telling him when you meet your ex again.
#2 He flirts with his ex to get back at you
DO THIS: Tell him not to hide his feelings and that you know he’s not happy with you. Let him know that if something bothers him, it bothers you too. Don’t: “say or do something just to get back at him,” says Celestine.
#3 He yells at you
DO THIS: “Walk away. Don’t entertain his outburst as it shows you are fine with being treated this way,” says Celestine. But don’t fight fire with fire. “It might aggravate the situation and he might unintentionally hurt you,” explains Moses Wong, relationship coach at Paraklesis Training and Coaching. Tell him that you won’t talk to him until he calms down and can discuss the matter in a mature and respectful manner. Then let him cool off.
#4 He ignores your calls
DO THIS: Make the first move by texting him and being friendly, says Moses. Suggest doing something that he likes, like playing his favourite computer game. If he still refuses to open up, don’t force or confront him. “If it’s been a week, drop him another message to let him know you’re still waiting. A mutual reconciliation is more important than one that is rushed,” says Celestine. If he’s still ignoring you after a long period of time, say, two weeks or more, consider seeing a relationship counsellor, says Moses.
This story was first published in Her World Magazine June 2013.
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