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#1 Do it in person
Breaking the news over the phone, or via Whatsapp or e-mail is just plain rude. Meet at a quiet place, like a park or by the beach, to sort things out. Tell him beforehand that you need to talk, so he won’t be caught completely off guard.
#2 Be honest
His bumming around may be bothering you, but telling him he’s lazy isn’t going to make you look good. Ever. Instead, explain why a certain attribute (which he lacks) is so important to you. For example: “I want a guy who is driven in his career because it makes me want to work hard for our future too.”
#3 Give him a chance to defend himself
You could have good reasons for ending it, but he doesn’t have to agree. Listen to his explanations, stay calm and reiterate your points. If he ends up crying, comfort him as best as you can, but don’t let the tears cloud your judgement (read: Stand by your decision).
#4 Do not try to hide things from him
If you’re breaking up with him because you’ve found someone else, come right out and admit it – don’t make up some lousy excuse. Even if you keep it quiet, he’ll find out eventually (Singapore’s really not that big), so at least get credit for not lying by omission.
#5 Stick to your decision
We all know someone with the ambiguous “It’s complicated” Facebook status. Don’t be that person. Be firm and make a clean break – if, for instance, he pleads for a cooling-off period instead of a break-up, gently say no. Don’t give him false hope.
This story was first published in HerWorld Magazine November 2014.
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