Ask Jay: I've outgrown my friend. How do I breakup with her?

Got a problem? Jason Godfrey, our resident guy expert, is here to help.

My boss has a nasty habit of taking my ideas, and presenting them as his own. What should I do?

You can wait for him in the parking lot with a baseball bat and threaten to take out his kneecaps. Actually, don’t do that. Kneecapping your boss might not be the best way to move up the corporate ladder. You need to have a chat with him about wanting to be credited for your ideas, but here’s the problem: If he’s not already trying to give you credit, either he doesn’t realise they’re your ideas or he doesn’t care.

Then the next solution is, just keep your good ideas to yourself. Don’t mention them to your boss, and present them when the time is right. If your boss won’t protect you, then you have to protect yourself.

Just don’t use any baseball bats.

I think I have outgrown my best friend – we've been friends since school, but our interests, lifestyles and mindsets have completely diverged over the years. How do I break up with her, without hurting her?

Do you have to break up with her? I assume if you’re diverging in interests, then maybe you’ve both outgrown each other and you’re not spending as much time together as you used to. If that’s the case then there’s no need for a long break up chat. Old friends drift apart; no need to make it into anything more dramatic – just sit back and let the drift happen.

Are you particular about how you look or is it body dysmorphia?

I’ve not been officially diagnosed, but I do think that I had a mild form of body dysmorphia when I was modelling.

Fashion can be a judgemental space – I was once standing shirtless with a bunch of other buff models when the creative director pointed at me and said, “Get that guy a shirt.”

For the sake of my mental health, I realised I had to stop caring about whether I met those “standards” and whether or not my body was “acceptable”. It can be healthy to care about your physical appearance to some extent – you might feel motivated to pick up a new fitness regime or indulge in some selfcare – but it’s not healthy if you’re obsessing over your food and exercise.

To deal with this unhealthy obsession, I started writing and learning about acting, and tried to improve my inner self rather than my outer shell. After all, being overly concerned with your looks is a sign of low confidence. By getting better at other things, I began to have a more realistic view of myself, where maintaining rock hard abs wasn’t the norm. Now that I’m a 40something with a definite Dad-bod, I’ve never been happier.

Have any questions about men and their romantically obtuse ways? E-mail Jason at magherworld@sph.com.sg, follow him on Twitter (@bigsmilenoteeth) and like his Facebook page at facebook.com/bigsmilenoteeth.