Ask the expert: What counts as sexual harassment online and what can I do to protect myself?

Sexual harassment online doesn’t always announce itself. It can take the form of a “harmless” message, a suggestive emoji, or an anonymous DM that erodes a person’s safety and dignity in ways they may not realise until much later.  Even a private photo shared without consent can be a form of violation. Subtle or overt, the impact is real.

What counts as sexual harassment?

What makes it harassment is not whether the sender intended harm, but the impact it has on the victim. 

In SHE’s 2025 study 404: Help Not Found, one in five survivors said online harm felt “normal” rather than serious, while one in four youth believed women who post images must accept all comments, even disrespectful ones. Many survivors weren’t even sure if what they experienced counted as harassment. When platforms dismiss your report and people around you say you’re overreacting, it’s easy to question your own boundaries.

But digital harassment causes very real harm: anxiety, insomnia, reputational damage, even suicidal thoughts. We must stop ignoring the invisible wounds happening in plain sight. According to SHE’s research and Singapore’s Protection from Harassment Act (POHA), online sexual harassment includes behaviours such as receiving unsolicited sexual messages or images, threats to leak intimate content (or “sextortion”), non-consensual sharing of private photos or videos, including deepfakes, and impersonation or harassment through fake accounts.

It also includes repeated sexual attention after you’ve asked for it to stop. Intent doesn’t define harassment, impact does. If something leaves you feeling unsafe, violated, or degraded, it matters. And you deserve to be taken seriously.

Why many women don’t report?

Despite the harm, many women still don’t speak up. One reason is the ingrained belief that they should simply accept whatever comments come their way, a mindset reinforced by SHE’s Safeguarding Online Spaces study, which found that one in four youth think women who post photos should accept all comments, even disrespectful ones.

Survivors also described how certain online harms, especially sexual harassment, had become so common that people no longer saw them as wrong. This normalisation fuels victim-blaming, with women often met with remarks like, “You shouldn’t have posted that,” shifting responsibility from the harasser to the target.

Many doubted they’ll be taken seriously, discouraged by robotic or dismissive reporting systems. Shame, guilt, and self-doubt are also common. And while a single unsettling DM might seem small, these incidents can pile up over time, wearing you down.

What you can do to protect yourself

Start by documenting everything, screenshots, URLs, and timestamps can help if you file a report or apply for a protection order. Use built-in tools to mute, block, or report the harasser. Protect your digital space by using strong passwords, enabling two-factor authentication, and checking your privacy settings regularly.

Know your rights too. Under POHA, you can file for protection orders, even against anonymous users. Courts can compel platforms to release IP addresses if needed. Finally, look after your emotional wellbeing and speak to someone you trust. Otherwise, Otherwise, you can reach out to available support channels such as SHECARES@SCWO for help

What to do if it happens to you

If you’re targeted, don’t engage, especially with anonymous or burner accounts. Speak to someone. Shame grows in silence. And remember: if something makes you uncomfortable, that’s enough. You don’t need permission to take your safety seriously.

Online harassment isn’t just a digital issue, it reflects deeper, real-world power dynamics. As more of life moves online, the harm becomes harder to escape. Survivors need empathy, clarity, and real options, not just punishment, but support.

If you’re facing harassment, please don’t hesitate to reach out:

• Hotline: 800 101 4616 (Mon – Fri, 9am – 9pm)
• WhatsApp Textline: 6571 4400 (Mon – Fri, 9am – 9pm)
• Address: 96 Waterloo Street, 2nd Floor, Singapore 187967 (Mon – Fri, 9am – 6pm)
• Email: shecares_scwo@she.org.sg
• Website: she.org.sg/shecares-scwo

Appointments are encouraged. The centre is closed on public holidays.

How Kay Lii is the chief operating officer of SHE, a leading organisation championing women’s safety and empowerment in Singapore’s digital and real-world spaces.