Why male allyship is essential for women to thrive in the workplace

At the Singapore Council of Women’s Organisations’ recent Summit for Action on Gender Equality (SAGE), the theme ‘Changing Mindsets in a Changing World’ sparked wide-ranging discussions – from thriving in mid-life to the impact of technology and artificial intelligence on gender stereotypes. 

The event closed with a conversation on male allyship and positive masculinity, led by Ho Kwon Ping, founder and executive chairman of Banyan Tree Holdings, who emphasised the importance of allyship in the workplace.

“I have come to realise that the differences between men and women are significant and should be celebrated. At the same time, equality of opportunities and outcomes must always be upheld,” said Ho.

Below, he shares more on how men can be supportive allies in the workplace.

Why is male allyship so important for women’s career progression?

In whatever we do in life, allyship is important because no one can achieve anything lasting or significant alone – everything requires teamwork. 

Since men make up at least half, and often much more as one moves up the career ladder, of the colleagues a woman will work with throughout her career, allyship must also mean male allyship. This is especially crucial as many, if not most, men in the workplace remain suspicious or wary of successful female colleagues – or worse, female superiors. 

As for the unique challenges women face at work, much of it now stems from unconscious bias, since conscious bias, once openly practiced and tolerated, is no longer acceptable – at least ostensibly.

What are some ways male colleagues can support women meaningfully?

Creating a DEI forum within each department, where everyone can voice concerns and grievances, would be valuable. It is easy to veer into being either too “un-woke” or too “woke”, and this can foster a toxic culture of unspoken resentment and hostility on both sides. 

In the Asian context, where harmony is prized but often results in the suppression of open views, having a safe space for honest sharing is especially important. 

Unlike Western culture, which tends to promote adversarial self-expression as a catalyst for change, Asian culture needs to find ways to encourage self-expression in a manner that feels safe.

How can men and women collaborate to build inclusive workplace cultures?

A ‘We-First’ culture – to echo Prime Minister Lawrence Wong’s slogan – emphasises that inclusivity is about “We” rather than “You”, even when the “You” refers to a minority group. At times, focusing too much on differences can lead to over-identification with smaller groups, which, while well-intentioned, risks creating fractious identity politics. 

What role should leadership play in driving this?

The role of leadership is to acknowledge the concerns of minority groups – in this case, women – while also fostering a shared purpose and vision that unites everyone. In other words, DEI should be seen as part of a larger journey towards a common goal that all can believe in.

What common pitfalls do men fall into, and how can they overcome them?

A common pitfall is a misplaced sense of superiority. While this has largely faded in today’s world, it has been replaced by growing insecurity. That insecurity can breed resentment towards women, or manifest as patronising behaviour. 

For true collaboration, both men and women need to feel safe in the workplace, so that when missteps occur, they do not spiral into distrust or disrespect. We are all navigating uncharted waters – where old rules of behaviour no longer apply, yet new protocols are still unclear.

What lessons have you learned from female colleagues?

I have found that women colleagues are often more loyal and less self-promoting than men, and they genuinely value the nuances of a warm and inclusive corporate culture. Yet, this very trait can hold them back from recognition or promotion – where assertiveness in men is praised, but the same behaviour in women is labelled as aggressiveness. 

It is unfair, but still a reality. I believe the Eastern concept of yin and yang, where dualities exist within each other, offers a wiser way forward.