What should you do when self-doubt shows up louder than the promotion?

I still remember the day I was offered the VP role.

It was the promotion I’d worked years for. Think: Long hours, impossible targets, the kind of pressure that quietly eats into your weekends. But when the offer came, I froze.

My first thought wasn’t joy. It was: “Are you sure you picked the right person?”

My second: “What if they find out I’m just winging it?”

That voice – small but sharp – had followed me for years. It showed up the first time I pitched to a room full of older men. It whispered in meetings where I was the only woman at the table. It hung around during every product launch, waiting for something to go wrong.

I didn’t have a name for it then, but now I do: self-doubt. And for a long time, I mistook it for truth.

 Everyone’s faking it a little

That voice didn’t quiet down once I stepped into the role. If anything, it got louder. The stakes were higher. The rooms were bigger. And the expectation – or at least the one I placed on myself – was that now, I had to prove I belonged.

During one of the leadership offsite early on in my role, I recall when we were going around the table, each person introducing themselves and sharing recent wins. My hands were trembling under the table.

I spoke when my turn came. But the words barely registered. You sound like an imposter. Everyone here is more polished than you,” the voice in my head screamed. 

But as the day went on, I began to notice something. Other people stumbled over their words. Some forgot their slides. Others admitted they didn’t have all the answers. No one had it perfectly together – they were simply carrying on.

That moment shifted something in me. The goal was never to erase the doubt. It was to keep showing up in spite of it.

It wasn’t imposter syndrome

Even today, after building a team, raising capital, and launching products I’m proud of – the voice still shows up. Before board meetings. On stage. Sometimes even in front of my own staff.

But I no longer let it hold the mic.

Instead, I’ve learned to do three things:

1. Name it: “This is self-doubt, not fact.”
2. Trace it: “Where is this fear coming from? Whose voice is this really?”
3. Move anyway: “Make the call. Send the proposal. Take the seat.”

Because the most radical thing you can do in a room that was never built for you is to sit down in it like you belong.

You don’t need permission to begin

I’ll admit: self-doubt still shows up, whether it’s before board meetings, high-stakes conversations, or during important moments that matter. But I no longer let it steer my decisions.

After two decades of building, leading, and learning in rooms I once felt unqualified to sit in, here’s what I now know:

Confidence isn’t something you wait to feel. It’s something you build by showing up – especially when doubt is in the room.

You don’t need to feel ready. You just have to begin.

And with time, the space that once felt too big starts to feel like it was always yours.

Uma Thana Balasingam is the architect of RAW Leadership.
She also is the founder and CEO of The Elevate Group and the Lean In Network in Singapore, and was formerly vice president of partner & commercial sales (Asia Pacific & Japan) with VMware.
For Her World, she writes about embracing emotions in the workplace.