What is hey-hanging and why is it stressing people out at work?

Imagine receiving a message from your boss, coworker, or client that simply says “Hey” with no follow-up. You respond, expecting something urgent, but instead, they leave you hanging in suspense. Minutes tick by as you wait for them to get to the point, leaving your flow disrupted and stress levels rising. 

It’s the kind of message that leaves you wondering: Is it good news? Bad news? An urgent task? For many workers, especially those already dealing with anxiety, this vague form of communication has become a significant stressor.

This phenomenon, known as “hey-hanging,” is becoming an increasingly common source of frustration at work.

What exactly is hey-hanging?

Hey-hanging refers to the practice of initiating a conversation with a casual greeting like “Hey” or “Hi” without immediately following up with the main message or question. 

It leaves the recipient in an awkward limbo, unsure whether they should wait, continue their task, or be on alert for what might be coming next. 

The term has gained traction as remote and hybrid work environments rely more on instant messaging platforms like Slack, Teams, or WhatsApp, where this behaviour is particularly noticeable.

Why does hey-hanging cause stress?

Hey-hanging taps into a psychological concept known as anticipatory stress. When we’re left waiting without clear information, our minds tend to fill in the gaps with negative assumptions. In a work environment, this stress compounds as people worry about whether they’re about to be assigned more work, given negative feedback, or asked to tackle an unexpected problem.

The main issue with hey-hanging is the unnecessary anxiety it creates. Here’s why it’s a problem:

Disruption of focus: A simple “hey” can pull someone out of their focus zone. Even if the follow-up message is delayed by just a minute or two, it’s enough to derail deep work and break the recipient’s concentration.

Ambiguity and uncertainty: The lack of immediate context makes people anxious. They start wondering if the conversation will involve a new task, a request, or a potential issue, leading to unnecessary mental load.

Implied urgency: A vague greeting with no follow-up often triggers an instinctive response that something urgent is coming. This can spike stress levels, especially when people are already juggling multiple tasks.

How to avoid being a hey-hanger

It’s easy to accidentally hey-hang, especially if you’re just trying to be polite or start a conversation gradually. However, being mindful of how you communicate can help avoid stressing out your colleagues. Here are some best practices:

Be direct: Start your message with the core information. For example, instead of just saying “Hey,” try “Hey, I need your input on this report. Are you available to chat?”

Include context: If you need to greet someone before diving into a conversation, pair it with context. For instance, “Hi! When you have a moment, could you help me with something related to the client meeting?”

Use async-friendly communication: In remote work settings, it’s better to structure your messages so people can respond when it suits them. Being clear and concise from the outset respects both your time and theirs.

Hey-hanging may seem like a small, harmless habit, but in today’s fast-paced work environment, it can be a significant stressor. 

By being more intentional with our communication, we can improve team collaboration, minimise stress, and create a more productive work atmosphere.